I know. The ambivalence has been compelling ... and powerful for such a long time. Three months ago virtually to the day, my cards said this needed to end. But ... I'm stubborn. And I have a soft spot for lost causes when I believe in them ... and fighting the inevitable until, as I told Ethan in my letter, "this just doesn't make any sense any more. Not for anyone."
I dreamed about you and @birdsinparadise last night and your beautiful posts. They are such works of art. Of the things I will miss, those are the top of the list. (Hugs)