Cultural divergence in fast food acquisition: Or damn, its hard to get a burger in Tokyo!

While interning at a Japanese law firm during a very chilly winter in Tokyo I dashed out to meet a colleague for lunch at Macca’s (Australian for McDonald’s) but before setting off I undertook my standard pre lunch prep (so I may be a little OCD).

I considered local cultural norms, specifically the vigorous marketing of the 30 minute lunch break. While only really enforced on the Japanese staff, non complying expats did get a very disapproving but knowing look, that made it clear only Japanese staff could really be expected to do lunch in 30 minutes. This may be true, but damn it by the end of my internship I was gonna give it a go.

Source: AbroadInJapan.com

Then I considered the environmental conditions, the forecast noted the possibility of sleet and snow. OMG I’m a Queenslander I can’t function in temperatures below 20C! Trying to remain calm I take evasive action and put on every piece of clothing I have in the office and any clothing I can borrow. While this severely affects mobility and style, I deem it essential to avoiding hypothermia.

Moving to socio political considerations, style is not really an issue being a ‘gainjin’ (Japanese for foreigner) everyone will be staring at me anyway, (I’m tall and blond, clearly not Japanese)so what the hell, I may as well be warm and I'm going to lunch not competing in the Olympics, how mobile do I need to be...

Economic considerations, a Macca’s meal will cost an arm and a leg compared to a fantastic healthy Japanese meal, but sometimes you just gotta eat overpriced crap to feel at home. So what the heck sometimes you just have to spoil yourself!

Source: Japanistry.com

The Macca’s off SL Plaza in Shimbashi, Tokyo was always crowded, but on a freezing cold winter’s day like today it would be teeming with cold, hungry, harried people. So with ninja like skills honed by biting cold and over whelming hunger during the past few weeks my colleague and I had developed a highly sophisticated system for maximizing a potentially favorable outcome during the 30 minute lunch.

So on arriving at Macca’s our plan swung into action. I sprinted to the counter (well waddled really due to multiple layers of clothing) to place our order. Meanwhile my colleague stalked the dinners in the seating area, searching for any tell tale signs of imminent departure. These signs include but were not limited to mouth wiping, stacking of trash on trays, loudly slurping the dregs of beverages, buttoning of overcoats, wrapping of scarves, or any other activity that may indicate an impeding exit.

Should she detect even the hint of a buttock rising from a seat, it was her mission to ensure that her buttocks were the prime contenders to fill that pending vacancy, (she was small, dark haired and inconspicuous, perfect for undercover work) thus better suited to securing us the grand prize, a seat at which we could hastily enjoy our 'fast food' (pun intended).

So after weeks of practice, planning, coordination and research and having used 15 minutes of our 30 minute lunch break our long hard struggle finally paid off. Two women, armed with only four bachelor’s degrees and three languages had successfully secured the essentials of 21st century life; burgers, fries, beverages and yes the piece de resistance, a seat and table. Woohoo! Our parents would be so proud.

To be continued…