Nathaniel,
I know I haven't been the best of persons lately with all that has happened. However, if I tell you what has happened to me, you will be shocked.
I decided to take a trip round the world to see countries with rich cultural heritage. Do not get me started on the food, it was amazeballs. The aesthetics were unlike what we are used to and I must say, I don't plan on returning to where I call home.
But, as I passed the island of Fiji, a terrible storm started and wrecked my ship. Luckily for us, we were able to take refuge on the island. In the past 3 months, I've become built, killed a snake, killed a boar (though the boar almost killed me too), learnt survival skills to last a lifetime, and, have had no human interaction.
I send this to you in a bottle in the hopes that it reaches you and you send help to get me off this goddamn island.

Samuel.

The bottle was intercepted by a seagull and Samuel was never saved