Serious

1. The news (bad) has been released... (eg. tax increase by gvt for example)
2. going on the bottle means the news is so bad I have to get drunk. probably because the bomb has burst so I'm going on the bottle.
3. To set the lots on Stilts. To set the record straight.

Funny

1. I just let go a bomb (fart)
2. I am going to sails the seven seas on a floating bottle
3. If the world is a stage, let me play the tall fool.