Beta reading contest Ragnarok Conspiracy : Final part; 30 STEEM prize money, and chance for 500SP delegated for 6 weeks.

in contest •  last year 

In order to improve the quality of my upcoming novel Ragnarok Conspiracy, I am looking for beta readers. This week I completed the epilogue of the story. So after my earlier beta reading lotteries, this one will be the last one in the series.

There are thirteen prices this run with a total worth of 30 STEEM. Oh, and there will be one more prize, 500 SP delegated for six weeks, but that one also will include contestants from the earlier four beta reading lotteries.

So how does it work? Below are links to each of the twelve chapters of part five, the final part of the story. I need you to beta read them. If you see anything that needs improvement, check the comments first to see if you are the first to notice. If you are, create a comment.

If it is a useful and constructive comment and not a duplicate, I will upvote your comment and my upvote will equal you receiving one lottery ticket.

You may enter up to five non-duplicate comments per chapter, and up to ten for chapter ten, that happens to be an extra long chapter. More upvoted comments mean a bigger chance of winning.

You may also comment on this post. Once for each chapter, you commented on. If I upvoted any of your comments on the chapter I will also do so here.

Index

  1. Perseus-Pisces : prize 1.5 STEEM
  2. Holocene Past : prize 1.5 STEEM
  3. Jötnar : prize 1.5 STEEM
  4. Flushed : prize 1.5 STEEM
  5. G-Foil : prize 1.5 STEEM
  6. New Allies : prize 1.5 STEEM
  7. Old Enemies : prize 1.5 STEEM
  8. Whack-a-mole : prize 1.5 STEEM
  9. Antifragile : prize 1.5 STEEM
  10. Sisters : prize 3.5 STEEM (extra long chapter)
  11. Aesir : prize 1.5 STEEM
  12. Cold Start prize 1.5 STEEM

Other prizes

  • Part five as a whole (this page) : 10 STEEM
  • Ragnarok Conspiracy as a whole: 500 SP delegated for 6 weeks.

The last prize will go to the suggestion that I would consider hardest to find. Especially suggestions pointing out cross-chapter internal inconsistencies should have the biggest chance of winning this prize. Entries for part one up to part four of Ragnarok Conspiracy are also still allowed. Note that pure grammar and spelling suggestions compete for this prize. Think of things like me accidentally swapping out one character for another, internal inconsistencies in character background, locations used, ages, etc.

No defaulting, minimum numbers for the bigger prizes.

  • None of the chapter lotteries shall default to anyone. If there are less than two contestants for a single chapter, then there shall be no draw.
  • If there is no draw for more than four of the twelve chapters, the 10 STEEM prize shall not get drawn.
  • If there are less than three contestant posts or less than two contestants, the 500 SP delegation prize shall not be drawn.

Deadline

The deadline for entering into this beta reading lottery is 0:00 UTC on Apil 15 2018. Have fun and good luck.

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Chapter 10 done and commented upon.

Chapter 11 done and commented upon.

I feel bad I missed chapter 12, once again I am sorry. I fell asleep in the home stretch.

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No worries. Oh, and you might not have noticed, but I switched from UTC to AoE time for the deadline, so there is still a few hours left ☺️

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Chapter 12 done, those two are good, I, found one typo and that was it.

Chapter 9 done,

but tc-polymath did a damned fine job. I did not see him mention the missing e, I probably just over looked it though.

Chapter 7 done.

Chapter 10 done

Chapter 12 reading and commenting is in progress. I've already made a comment on that chapter, but more could be coming as I have not yet finished reading.

Chapter 8 done.

Chapter 11 done.

Chapter 7 done and commented upon.

Chapter 5 done and commented upon.

Chapter 6 done and commented upon.

Chapter 8 done and commented upon.

Chapter 9 done and commented upon.

Chapter 1 reviewed and critiqued. Thanks for posting.

Chapter 6 done.

Chapter 1 commented on.

Working on reviewing, but currently a bit short on time I made several comments and suggestions in just the first paragraph. I'll copy paste it to word and go through the entire piece later. If you appreciate my critique I am willing to go through more chapters over the weekend between studies.

Chapter 4 done, sort of.

It still felt odd using the brain implant though. While Wietse knew he was in control, that the augmentation was now part of him, that (change) by using the quantum trinities, the M-Brane grid was now (change) effectively an extension of of his own body, it still felt foreign. Wietse knew how this tech was used by PUPR agents in the war. PUPR agents, the cruelest and (add) most effective soldiers, spies and executioners this world had ever known. Something about the tech created a disconnect with their humanity but while Wietse feared for 'his' humanity using this tech, (swap) today, quite possibly, this tech could be the only thing that could save humanity as a whole.
Once (change) a part of (change) the proud European Space Agency, this ESA research institute today basically was an archive. A museum and library of (suggestion - antiquated / outdated) old space tech.
As Wietse (suggestion / change– was scavenging the area for anything that could be of potential use to him) looked around for usable stuff, he noticed a small window (change) through which he saw the snow-covered dunes that he remembered from long ago. The Dutch dunes had been a big part of Wietse's childhood, of his life before ….. While the image brought back memories, it just didn't feel right. But what was it that was wrong here? Then it hit him, it never snowed in September, not here? The snow-covered dunes were a familiar sight, but it was (change) a scene that belonged (change) in winter and early spring, not (change) in the final days of summer! Could this be related?
Then Wietse noticed a glass cabinet in the middle of the room. A space suit, or rather a 'moon' suit. Wietse remembered his granddaughter. She was on the moon now. Reestablishing contact would have to wait until he figured out why things had gone so (suggestion / add - terribly) wrong during their last contact, figured out how he could prevent another m-fold accident like that, especially at this distance. The M-fold exit spheres were increasingly more difficult to control at larger distances, and the moon was at the very edge of what Wietse was able to control. Before Wietse could think it through, a black sphere formed at the bottom of the cabinet. The moon suit dropped through it and the sphere disappeared. The advantage of the brain augmentation was that it allowed for quick, natural, gut responses. Responses at speeds that would be impossible at full cognition. A drawback to this, however, was that with untrained reflexes, some responses could actually bypass conscious decisions. Wietse was startled by what he just did. He might just have put her in danger. But chances were she might have a good use for a moon suit where she was at.
He was looking for something else though. Something specific. A space telescope! If his intel was correct, ESTEC owned an old space telescope.
Then his eye caught a floor plan on a (suggestion / change) large screen on the wall, spanning roughly three meters.
"Map, show me where I can find the biggest space telescope."
No response. Was this old tech? Wietse noticed an index next to the floor plan. As he quickly scanned the index, his eye spotted what he was searching for: Hubble Telescope D5. Wietse touched the word Telescope with his index finger. Nothing happened.
"Damn, not old tech: 'zero' tech."
The screen didn't even respond to his touch.
"Why in heaven's name? ..."
This didn't make sense and Wietse had no time for this. Who would create a non-interactive map for a bleeding museum? D5, Wietse remembered and looked back to the floor plan that was divided up into a grid. In cell D4 there was a large room with the inscription 'Hubble Zaal'. That had to be it. With quick strides, Wietse made his way to the room in question.
As Wietse opened the door, there was a huge telescope laying there. It was absolutely huge. Much larger than Wietse had anticipated. Twelve, thirteen meters long at least. Wietse moved over to the side marked as 'aperture door' on the narrower side of the telescope, then looked up at the ceiling of the room.
"Damn, the bastard is huge!"
Wietse took a power cell and a radio transmitter out of his backpack and started installing it where the fake replica solar panel was connected to the telescope.
"Sir! You are not allowed to touch the exhibits! Verdomme, shit ..."
Another guard dropped down an instant fold into the nearby sea with Wietse hardly having to give it more than a volatile thought.
The power was up now. Wietse took out his radio receiver and started scanning for the signal (change), then took a few quick steps back. A huge (change) half-sphere about seven meters in diameter filled half the room emerging the broader side of the telescope. Then the non-emerged part of the telescope started tilting up, picking up in (change) momentum rapidly.
"Shit, no, no, no!
The backside of the telescope hit the ceiling. Not really hard but not in a way that felt safe for the delicate alignments of the mirror system either. Then the tilted telescope disappeared into the sphere. The sphere shrank to a size of about seven centimeters and hovered in front of Wietse's receiver.

  ·  last year (edited)

I've commented on Chapter 1. I realized I should make these posts so people coming to read about the contest don't think no one is participating.

Chapter 5 done.

I've commented on Chapter 2.

I've commented on Chapter 3.

I've commented on Chapter 7. And now I'm caught up on the last several days. I didn't do all those in the last three minutes, just made these notes together.

Chapter 2 comented on

Chapter 3 done and commented upon.

I've commented on Chapter 6.

I've commented on Chapter 5.

I've commented on Chapter 8. That one was long.

A more general point that I guess I'll put here: I imagine you're unaware, but the word "Lapp" is an ethnic slur in English, directed at the Saami people of northern Norway, Sweden, and Finland. In light of that you may want to find a different name for your Lap Republic.

I've commented on Chapter 4.

Chapter 4 done and commented upon.

Chapter 1 done and commented upon.

I've commented on Chapter 9.

  ·  last year (edited)

Chapter 3 read and done.

Chapter 2 done and commented upon.

@moneyinfant has added your contest to the list Steemit Writing Contests: Issue #49. The list is updated on a daily basis and your contest will remain on the list until its expiration - there's nothing you need to do.

The list was created to save writers the excessive amount of time spent searching through the #contest tag for writing contests. Now they can just come to the list each day, see new contests and use their time doing what they love - writing.

If you'd like to help spread the word about the Steemit Writing Contest List I'd really appreciate a resteem, but it certainly isn't necessary. The project is simply meant to help writers save time and contest creators attract more contestants.

P.S. If you know of any contests I've missed I'd love to hear about them. Thanks!

Announcing that the lottery draw for this lottery for a prize of 10 STEEM will be done using the witness signature for block 21,644,900

The ticket array used is defined by: ["@tcpolymath"]*9 +["@doughtaker"]*12+ ["bashadow"]*12+["@arthur.grafo"]*2+["@diomedes"]*2+["@wrath-of-grapes"]*2

See this post to see how the winner is drawn.

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The winner for this draw is @doughtaker

Wrapping things up with the last and final draw in this set of beta reading lotteries. Drawing the 500 SP delegation for 6 weeks winner.

Two people, over the span of the five beta reading competitions provided feedback that qualifies for competing in this final draw.

Different names same character

  • @bashadow Pointed out three instances where one character was referred to with completely different names (Dalika/Akilla, Matatu/Matata/Makatu, Urzon/Gurzan)
  • @doughtaker did the same once (KOTU/Kotu/Kitu)

Swapped characters
@doughtaker pointed out three instances of character and organization names accidentally being swapped out:

  • John/Pete
  • Bjarne/Wietse
  • New Zion / New Babylon

Gender change

  • @doughtaker pointed out that John had changed gender to a female at one instance.

Numbers

  • @bashadow pointed out my inconsistent use of numbers (written out versus numeric)

Allocating 8 tickets for @bashadow and 10 for @doughtaker.

Using the following ticket array for the draw: ["@bashadow"]*8+["@doughtaker"]*10, that should take place using block number 21,672,200.

Good luck.

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The winner for this draw is @doughtaker.

Congratulations, you get 500 SP delegated for 6 weeks.

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Thanks. This novel was a good read, and I hope it reaches a wider audience and is successful.