So this was tough, yes I know I am the epitome of apathy but I got the feels when needing to decide who won.

I got 6 entries which if I had just a bit more in funds that would mean everyone gets a prize.

All entries are effectively rants - I likey, because mysteries are too simple and can usually be answered with "I don't care who shot him in the face, there are still many people just choose a new husband lady."

The original contest post

It is funny because it is not true.

That randomness

Obviously, in the list, it says I will award 1 Steem randomly, which I thought about and frankly I don't want to. I want to give it to @mimismartypants for the better late than never reward AKA Meh! ...

Go check out her post, don't worry I will wait.
Do you know what a minnow looks like?

Back?

Ok now that I can continue, my first thought is to actually have 2 contestants buy the other 2 SBI with the money which sucks since then you have few people excluded from getting the same value.

Sooo, in the spirit of our current social standards, I will exclude a majority from gaining anything of worthwhile also.

So now it is a toss-up between @Granolalight (@Profanereviews' ugly twin), @Tamala, @IamTheGray, @RentMoney and @Monchhichi23.

Now I can give you breakdowns of each one's post and why I decided what I did but that seems like a whole lot of work and you should probably go read their posts then come back and tell me what a tiny brain I have for deciding the way I did. (Feel free to elaborate on that insult to an insult.)

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@Tamala

_{Confused Winner}

In the classic rant, fashion @Tamala impresses by not spilling a drop of wine as she battles a nefarious recipe.Read about her love for Kimchi

@RentMoney

_{Poetic Whiner}

Creatively using a haiku his first entry just did not cut it, so what do you do when told that won't do? You say fuck you, but spell it Haiku. Read their entry

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It is not so bad

Don't cry it is not so bad if you did not win, life sucks I am glad I could help in your education of this fact.

Speaking of, go congratulate @GranolaLight on getting those idiot bosses of his to finally give him a permanent position with benefits. Baller!
Why don't nobody shoot straight no more.

@Iamthegray dude, I hope that you have been able to get some solid sleep, and if the snake does not go away maybe it is time to be buddies, one foot in heaven and one in hell can't be all that bad, cover those bases.
I had the scariest of mornings, an exhaustive afternoon and an evening filled with a headache and hunger

What gets a person more riled up than someone prodding you with a cactus and calling it rimming. Find out by going to read @Monchhichi23's entry A Rare Rant and Maybe Some Wise Words

Thank you for all the entries, I enjoyed reading them and it is nice since the posts came to me so I did not even have to open my feed and pray at all.

I did choose to go with @incinboost for the prizes instead of SBI , so do let me know how that works out @tamala and @rentmoney.

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Let the bitching commence