Break Up With Anyone And Monetise Your Emotional investment In Five Easy Steps.

• Step One:
  Take your soon-to-be-ex on a vacation to see the Mayan Ruins.

• Step Two:
  Pamper your little moneymaker with daily spa treatments, filled with perfumes, avocado mask, cucumbers over her eyes and massages to relax her delicate muscles.

• Step Three:
  Proudly parade your matured asset in front of the nearest tribe of cannibals.

• Step Four:
  Explain to the chief how she was just tenderised and marinated.

• Step Five:
  Negotiate price.