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RE: A Dead Poems Society Production, Round 4, Contest and Community Building
I have a deep respect for poetry, I consider it a genre that requires such sensibility to rhythm, to the images that come to live in every stanza... I find it very hard to write, though (I'm more inclined to try prose) but, since I joined Steemit, I've found myself giving it a shot as a way of practicing my English, a way to share some part of me with this community... I'm not sure if I succeeded but I really appreciate this deadpost initiative! So, here it is: https://steemit.com/poetry/@devinalivaudais/not-a-bedtime-story-i
I really liked how you used the imagery of tiny birds to represent the feeling of being abused, small and helpless. The bird will never fly again and neither will the child and his mother. Your english is pretty good.
You should #steemitschool discord server. They have a poetry class.
Thank you for your kind words, @firststeps, especially when it comes to my use of the language. I read the "poem" once more and realized that I missed a verb that should have been written in past tense jajajaja I'll be looking forward to joining the discord server you mentioned, sounds interesting!
A very powerful poetic narrative, Devina. The symbolism is very strong:)
Thank you very much, @prydefoltz n.n I hope you enjoyed it.
Powerful language and symbolism, @devinalivaudais.
Something dark crawls between the lines. Daddy's been evil. As I read your poem and found those little birds, I thought about defenseless children and wives being abused. The poem really got me to feel.
Your use of apostrophe in the second stanza plus the archaic pronoun to speak directly to the Fairy Queen is genius, for it takes the reader both to the ongoing event and to old times--at once! I loved that transition.
Finally,
This is something left out in children's bedtime stories, the price. Terrible! (Powerful words).
P.S. I might be a little sleepy, but I could not figure out whose hands are "their hands" in the second to last line. If you please, tell me. Thanks ☺
Hi, dear @marlyncabrera, as usual, your skills as a sharp reader fascinates me. I'm glad that you liked this experiment of mine (I have to insist that I'm not fond of writing poetry but I try it anyway). And as for your question, "their hands" relate to the bad daddies, it was supposed to be a metaphor but I had two misspelling errors in the poem (which I realized just now) one of them was that I wrote "daddys" instead of "daddies", I get that's why you end up confused in that line.
Note to self: I have to be more careful with my writing from now on.
Thank you for reading! <3
Well, that makes sense. Thanks ☻ I think it's cool you've brought horror into poetry. Makes me want to try it out.