It reads a little like a soap opera? Maybe?
I would suggest refining your prose a little more, and having a point for the story, since the first and second halves had little to do with each other thematically.
There's potential in your writing voice. It's up to you to uncover it!
Thank you for commenting, the free theme so I decided to make a couple story. I am not a professional writer and I wanted to get out of my comfort zone, because I write more of science fiction.