RE: Finish the story, earn 3 steembasicincome shares! Week #3
Grazie for both your story and the SBI opportunity F3nix! This time I'll be playing and hoping to win for another freewriter! Sorry that I'm so late to the party! (Next time I'll bring some bread! 😉)
Theo had seen many of his Aunt's sourdough starter jars through the years. They'd been a mainstay on her counters, waiting to be fed the flour, sugar and water that the bacteria needed to grow. The way she had tended to the jars with motherly care had often made him giggle. He'd teased her that she should tuck them in with a blanket and a kiss. Agnes had smiled and been proud to tell of the fact that she'd maintained the original batch. The one she began back when her children first left the home for their schooling.
Aunt Agnes' had been oddly overprotective of the jars. Once, Boufry had knocked into her legs as she'd pulled one from the fridge. It had fallen to the floor, shattering the jar and the sweet disposition of his aunt. That night had been the only time Boufry had been put outside for the night. He remembered Agnes' tears as she swept up the spilled mess of starter, speckled with shards of glass. Then, Theo had that her outburst of anger had been of frustration. But now, with his aunt's trance and the plethora of jars in the fridge, he realized that her obsession was more than a baker's quirk.
Slowly, Theo approached his aunt, repeating her name with each step, with no response from the entranced woman. Coming to a stop next to Agnes, he reached out, gently grabbing her shoulder to turn her away from the cold light of the fridge. Slowly, her eyes moved from the jars of sourdough to the meet with his.
"...Theo...dore..." Aunt Agnes whispered, his name missing her usual loving cadence. Her gaze didn't brighten, didn't seem to register that she was actually seeing her nephew.
"Yeah, Aunt Agnes," Theo softly replied. "It's me. What's wrong? Are you hurt?"
At first, his questions didn't garner a response. Then, haltingly, as if she was a puppet controlled by another, her hand raised up. It wavered for a moment, shaking in front of Theo before lashing out to grip his throat tightly!
Agnes' merciless grip, strong from the years of kneading and lifting that come from baking, was unmovable. Theo struggled, heaving himself backwards and scratching at the hand that was cutting off his air. Nothing was working, nothing was making her budge. Why? It hurt!
Why was she doing this? What had happened to his sweet aunt?
Agnes' other hand, holding a jar of starter, came up. As the speckled darkness ate at his vision, Theo saw that it was open. Inside, the creamy mass began to heave and move, bubbling over the rim of the glass and oozing down his aunt's hand. Her gaze, still alien, was locked on his. Lips parting, she said, her voice cold as steel, "The use of family creates the conditions in the art of baking for optimal sourdough fermentation."
.. that's the way! The beginning was quiet and peaceful but the end was breath taking! Do you agree with me Bris that the sourdough presents a lot of narrative ideas? Oh, btw what do you mean by "winning for another freewriter"? Thanks really to take your time and give us this gem ☺️
Sorry F3nix, I've been all over the place these last few days on here and I need to get my act together and get more organized. I've fallen way behind on so many of my friend's posts! By the way, I read your Concept of Su-Ha-Ri post and just loved that you're going to be writing a series on martial arts! It's great that you pointed out how true learning comes not just from rote repetition of the master's form but from expanding from the base knowledge and forming one's own style!
Bruni is right that your stories set a high bar! That's good though, we seek to reach beyond ourselves and try something new each time we work with someone to finish a story. Besides, it's not as much fun if everyone wins all the time and the contest is too easy! 😉 I say do what you feel is right and play with the formula if it isn't working how you hope. The desired result is to foster the freewriting community and have us all grow closer together as friends isn't it? Just don't forget to have fun yourself!
LOL!! We'd all have a blast with your parody idea! (I'd love to see Omra's light saber, Marco's wand with its new grip, and our hardcore utensils worked in to that plot!) 🤣
Grazie for taking the time to read it (I was really long with this one)! I'm happy that you liked it!! I think that the sourdough invoked lots of creativity with its connections to baking, home, family, history and chemistry. There were many ways for people to carry on from and these replies in the comments are truly inspired!!
My winning for another freewriter meant that, if I won, I'd like to offer up a name of one of our group to have the SBI share. Since I've been lucky enough to win once, I'd like the chance to see if I can do it again for someone else. As to who? I haven't decided yet. I'll probably start randomly picking from our AWESOME encouragers and then move out from there.
Wow there's so much fat stuff to reply to into your message.. and soon I've to call 3d wife and then dedicate to the winners post! I'll try to be concise. I tried with the Suhari martial art post to write something for the joy of writing, disconnected from everything. It got no messages so far and i'm try to understand if I've to be lighter, wrote too much or whatever else lol.. I am quite proud of my martial art banner however, did you like it? :-D I'm really happy that you enjoyed that, I may write again about martial arts if I find interest. There's so much to say and I thing that's a pragmatic approach to spirituality and philosophy // the bar we usually self-set them, that's what I do in life and sometimes I'm wrong because i'm not very indulgent with me in real life.. (maybe I should say..smart..). The story I wrote is a novel i'm satisfied of and will be put in a book, once I decide to stop steemin and start a project the way it deserves hahah..// I'd love to do that parody but please let me impersonate gollum! :-P //Sourdough: i'd add "contamination" to the themes // Ok I did well to ask you because I usually give the prize before the results automatically. Ok let's do this, you tell me the account and i'll divert the pot to him, in case you win ;-) This contest is open to everyone Bris, freewriters or not.. it's important to widen the base and include eveyone IMO, as I think it's a cute way to distribute wealth. Surely the freewrite is my nest, almost as much as our coffins down in the basement.
@ deirdyweirdy if I win, please. Grazie for your responses and I hope you have a good talk with 3D wife! Sorry for the short reply I have to get dinner ready.
Ok both of them to her then? You won btw :-) Don't worry.. I'll DM you about this. Yes Mrs F3nix had to hear some crazy stories I've still to write..poor her :-P
Thank you for your contribution my dear friend, Lady Brisbiant. I want to read it with calm later, tasting it, but I don't want to leave without a comment. I think that this time I made things a bit too difficult and competitive, hence I'll prize everyone in a way (@wonderwop told me I set the bar high and he's right). Still trying to find a good formula to make everyone happy but to keep the challenge. Oh btw...today during shower I thought about a lord of the ring parody for the Old Steemian Home! I was thinking of a four-write between you, @omra-sky, @marcoriccardi and me :-D