Okay, another try:

1. Time is up - Funny: Look out thar she blows, it's moby dick...oh wait..Just @ berniesanders.
2. Sobering up - Funny: I think I need another drink, you still look like my wife.
3. To raise above it all - Funny: Heh, I can see your bald spot now.

My entry is on behalf of Play 4 a Newbie Challenge. All proceeds will go to a newbie Prize Pool and hopefully you will get other players to join in your game too!