RE: IFC Season 2 Round 19 - Assist IrvinesImages
I'm all on board with a son trying to help make his father's work more visible, but I sincerely think the way you implemented this idea is rather unfair.
Don't get me wrong here, I get that you're trying to help your dad, and that's really admirable and a quality of a good son, but I think in this way you might be unknowingly giving out the wrong idea of wanting to take advantage of these contests.
A more fair way to ask for help and recognition, I think, would have been to ask for it directly without making it into a competition. You could've simply made a separate post about it with the same rules and reward, just not included as one of the #ifc contest rounds. It could've been an independent contest, one not related with the original contests and we wouldn't mind it. Again, don't get me wrong.
Your dad is a remarkable photographer and I would love to promote his work, but there are certain boundaries that you shouldn't cross when you are the host of one of the biggest contests held on an international platform.
What you are asking for as an entry is something pretty big and that's the reason why not many people have participated in this specific round. Imagine being a contestant and reading a contest title that says, "Help @thisperson and maybe you'll win." Obviously you wouldn't want to participate, would you? You would think of the host as some sketchy dude who is taking commission from @thisperson to promote himself.
If someone wishes to promote someone else, it should be done because of their own will and not because someone told them to. I know we have a choice to not participate in this round, but that gives out an unfair advantage to the few who do participate because they literally have no one to compete with.
This, imo, ruins the integrity of the contest and makes it appear not as official in a way. Just to be clear, I'm not saying all of this because I'm not participating in this round. I'm saying this as an active contestant of the contest, and also as a good friend of yours.
I know for a fact that you are a big enough person to not take all of this as an offense, but as a chance to improve yourself and the ifc if you agree with me. If I'm being honest, I first hesitated to write this comment because I didn't wanted to upset you (and I still don't), but if we want to stay true to each other and to ourselves, it is important to take that risk, isn't it?
Last season we did this contest and no one expressed any issues and the person who got the bonus prize was absolutely thrilled. It was a fun round and we had some really good entries and it was good energy and supportive.
Furthermore we've had numerous other quests that were similar ranging from "find a sponsor for the IFC" to "find more players for the IFC" to a "help the judges" and "help a beginner" round as well.. No one complained about any of those rounds either and were from what I could tell happy to help.
I've been wanting to start a contest with my father for quite some time though it hasn't worked out so this is a good way for us to work together on a project in my opinion.
I disagreed with a lot of what you said and was surprised by some of it though I don't have the desire to get into an argument. You of course have the right to your opinion and I'll consider what you said in regards to if I'll ever try to do this round again in the future.
I understand. I sincerely apologise if I gave off the wrong vibe. Perhaps my way of saying what I said wasn't very nice. If other people are actually happy with it, then that makes my whole argument pointless.
This is the kinda stuff that I'll need your help in. I'm still obviously learning and I want to continue to do that. If a few minutes of embarrassment teaches me a lesson of a life time, then I'm more than willing to do that. The same happened with me in my first job too.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I just don't wanna hold back on something that I'm scared to say because the more I hold myself back, the more the stress builds up.
Thanks for explaining why I'm wrong instead of just pointing it out. If I ever have doubts about anything in the future, I'll make sure to ask about it first rather than making direct statements. In fact, I think it's better if we do it one-to-one on Discord or somewhere else so the round isn't affected.
What d'you say?
I respect your authenticity and honesty for speaking up. And also your humbleness to apologize and try to communicate better.
Your argument isn't pointless just cause other people went along with it and didn't complain, and I have wondered in the past about such things and how much I should do quests that could benefit me personally... So it's a fair point to make and I can see where you were coming from and I probably won't do this quest again next season cause if even one person has an issue with it that's too many in my opinion.
However.. I kept asking myself after your message.. In the context of, I put countless hours into this, donated at least 1/5th of my steem and spent a bit of USD as well buying the trophy, and artwork.. So why shouldn't I be able to do a round or two that pay respect to my father or.. Whatever? I mean.. Why shouldn't I be able to do a quest that even benefits myself directly? Like one that brings people to my page instead of my fathers?
I came up with the idea, I invested most of the time and money.. I feel like I should be able to do something like that every now and again. However, you have some good points.. And I don't want to alienate the players.. I want to bring in as many players as I can and if anyone thinks it's shady that I would do a quest like that then I probably shouldn't do those kinds of quests anymore.. I want this to be a professional sort of thing some day with lots of people that play, not something where people are claiming I'm unfair in some way. I wanna be as fair as possible.
In regards to the other rounds like.. "Find more players" "help a beginner" "find a sponsor".. I'm not sure.. I might do away with those also, or I might keep doing them.. I don't know.. I might keep doing the Assist IrvinesImages one as well, yet right now I'm leaning against it.
I'm going to have to think about this more, but as I just mentioned above.. I don't want anyone to think I'm being unfair or shady, so I'll probably not be doing those quests in the future.
No worries or need to apologize, I respect your courage for saying what's on your mind even if it could have ended in a not so pleasant way. I appreciate your willingness to tell me how you think it is and I will continue to think about the subject and whether or not I should continue those quests. PS yeah Discord might be a better place to talk about these things, but it is what it is.
I'm so happy you didn't take it the wrong way. And yeah, after what you said, it does make sense that you should be able to promote your dad or even yourself for that matter.
My only request/suggestion in my first comment was that the promotion could be its own different round (or bonus round) independent of the contest because I genuinely think it would be better that way.
If on some occasions some of my posts that I poured my heart in don't get attention, then I just directly ask for it once in a subtle way, by linking stories that hint towards the post that I want people to see.
For example, when you want more people to join the ifc contests, you make a "Find more players" round which is direct, straight-to-the-point, and does the work and it gets the people excited, and is completely fair because the contest is promoting itself.
I think the same should be applied in this situation too. You can just ask for the help directly as a self-promotion sorta thing.
I don't think we should stop doing the rounds like "Find more players," "help a beginner," and "find a sponsor," because all of those rounds are ultimately working for the betterment of ifc and for the steem community too.
It's not selfish if the contest is promoting itself. It's, in fact, a smart technique to gather new players. After all, Steemit itself is doing it in its mass adoption thing or whatever it was called.
I'm truly glad you could see the insecurity behind saying whatever I did. I used to be terrified of disappointing people (and I still kinda am) and that's why I'm trying to be more open and honest to myself and others so I can get rid of this fear even if it means I'll have to take risks and be uncomfortable.
Maybe part of the reason why I was so harsh initially is because of all the rapid changes that are currently happening in my life right now. My default mood is a worried one these days because I've been having haunting thoughts about my future even though things are technically going in the right direction, but I know that's not an excuse to act like an asshole.
I'm constantly trying to be and stay emotionally stable, though I'm bound to slip sometimes, and I'm okay with apologizing for it if I have to. It doesn't make me a small person, though I still kinda feel bad about it.
Much love to you buddy, and thanks for understanding and being so patient <3
Well you shouldn't see any issue with this quest either then as I stated in the original quest blog post that this contest wouldn't exist if it wasn't for my father. You could even say my father is the largest sponsor because not only did he give me life, but he is providing me with a place to live and he buys me food sometimes as well and if it wasn't for those things I almost certainly would not have time to run this contest and I definitely wouldn't have the time to go into so much detail in my responses to each entry if I did have the time to keep it going in some manner. He is a critical part of this whole equation and the IFC continuing until I can make enough money to support myself.
I read the article you linked and I'm in a similar boat, even though I've sold photography for a long time I've never really had an official job outside of a few odds and ends here and there which were short term and I just started my first sort of official job doing freelance writing and it's been a bit stressful and starting out slow but hopefully will pick up when I get more used to it and gain more experience. Good luck with your situation!
You're welcome for being understanding and patient. I want everyone to feel like their voice matters in this community and even if it was hard for me to read some of what you said initially, I think it's good for me to think about these kinds of things.
I want to make this contest work and in order to do that I need to genuinely listen to what everyone thinks, I may not always agree but I still need to listen and try to put myself in their shoes and you did have some good points as well even if I disagreed with a decent amount of it. So thank you as well for bringing your thoughts to my attention.. I think the IFC will be stronger because of it in the long run, and I myself will be as well for continuing to learn how to communicate and talk with people better.
Peace.
Makes sense. If he weren't here, ifc wouldn't have existed.
I'm currently travelling right now so I won't be able to write that comment entry, but I'll write one as soon as we return home.
About disagreements, I think it's better that way if we are honest even if it means potential arguments. My best friend and I have had a lot of disagreements too in the course of our friendship and some were so extreme that it took weeks for us to talk to each other again.
But in the end, we always come up and say sorry to each other because we know our friendship is worth so much more than our opinions, and that's the reason why we're so secure in our friendship.
I want to be able to make that sort of friendship with everyone I meet, but unfortunately, people don't usually like their opinions being challenged.
You, however, do listen even if you don't agree. That's what makes a good decision-maker and a good friend. I know you're much older than me but I never saw you that way. I've always seen you as someone equal to me, at least in terms of personality.
And if you think what you're doing is right, then I trust you with all my heart :)
Sorry for the late response I've been overwhelmed, and I noticed you responded earlier saying similar so I have a feeling you understand.
That's cool you and your friend have such a good relationship! And yeah.. I think it's important to be able to disagree and still be friends, unfortunately you're right in that so many people just can't handle it and see it as a personal attack or whatever.. But if you can get passed that and try to understand where the person is coming from then you can both hopefully grow!
Thanks for thinking I'm a good friend! I feel similar about you. :)Hopefully we can continue to be friends for a long time into the future. Cheers bud.