I read your post and I will be franc with you. Hope you don't take me wrongly. You seem to long for something you don't have. Maybe I am wrong but it feels this way when I read your post.You are married with the man you love. Well in my opinion there are only two questions worth asking: what are we living for and what is worth dying for and the answer to both is love, only love. Sometimes, a worst kind of loneliness is not when you are alone but when you are alone regardless if there are people around you or not. Hope I am not rude. But if I am , my apologies in advance.