COMMUNICATION IS PIVOTAL TO SUCCESS IN LIFE : TOPIC NO 4: EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

LANGUAGE AND COMMUNICATION DEFINE WHO YOU ARE. THEY ALSO SHAPE AND CREATE THE ENVIRONMENT IN WHICH THEY ARE USED AND ARE LARGELY RESPONSIBLE FOR SUCCESS OR FAILURE. BEYOND YOUR ESSENTIAL POSSESSIONS OF QUALIFICATIONS, SKILLS AND EDUCATION, LANGUAGE AND COMMUNICATION ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT TOOLS OF YOUR LIFE.

THROUGH THIS SERIES, I WILL PRESENT TO YOU WHAT I HAVE LEARNED THROUGH LIFE AND RESEARCH SO I MAY IMPROVE MYSELF AND I HOPE IT IMPROVES YOUR LIFE.

This topic became a very emotional one for me as I went deep into researching it. At the same time I was reading a post from @clemdane where she described her growing up in some fascinating detail. I thought of writing about of my life too but I am too scared to write about it. I will show you why in a moment. But researching emotional intelligence topic brought back a lot of memories, some being relevant to this topic and thus I will share them vaguely in this post.
Emotional intelligence has no one definition and no one meaning. It is a concept simply that I can best describe as a better understanding of oneself through ones emotions and reasons why and then using it to understand what's inside if others to better connect with them.
I spent a better part of my early youth involved in a war. I lost many friends, lost time in my academics, lost a big chunk of what I could have been. A lot of memories have stayed with me. Walking down a battlefield and hearing automatic gunfire with my friend walking next to me falling to the ground and as I turn to look at him, see half his head blown off and body convulsing. I pulled him to where I thought was safer and taking my shirt off and wrapping his head as if I could save him. He died in my arms. One day turning a corner and finding 7 burnt friends in a pile dead. Being captured by an intelligence service and kept in a make shift prison, given bugs to eat. Anyways, I don't wish to talk a bunch more about this this. When it sort of ended ( wars never end), I cried all the time uncontrollably. One day while talking to someone they asked if I was okay and I said yes why do you ask. He said because you are crying. Strange as it may seem, tears would be flowing and I would not even know. I had to gather myself. I made a plan that I would give myself 4 months and not a day more and then I must stop crying and build back my life. And so I did.
I understand my life choices, I see why I make certain decisions. I know why I dedicate myself to work as a Critical Care doctor. Life is precious and I will forget about mine to save yours. The experiences fostered empathy in me and I really really don't like hate, prejudice, war and conflict. I know I voted for Donald Trump because he said he was going to stop the wars.

Emotional intelligence is about knowing yourself and understanding your emotions. Then you can control them as well as your behavior.

Once you can do that, it becomes easier to understand emotions of others. You identify with them. You can feel what they feel.
Take this with other communication skills and you can connect with them.
You will do better in relationships and personal life as well as in business. Your experiences don't have to be drastic.They just have to be experiences.Your journey into emotional intelligence begins by taking a panoramic view and sometimes a microscopic view of your life and experiences and begin to understand who you are.
Best of luck with all your endeavors.