I agree about the drowning girl, her dress and hair don't read as dark, I actually thought it was the other girl in the light dress. For the hair I would just making it dark like the background and just defining it's shape with the minimum amount of highlights that you can get away way. You could probably do the same for the dress, go dark and just define the shape with rim lighting and highlights. Though a more striking solution might be to simply make it red, but you'd probably have to punch up the contrast a little by making the blacks a little darker and/or the red of the dress a little more vivid in general, for that to work, IMHO.