A wild Steem Monster appears!

Use pokeball to enslave it and force it into a life of hellish battles? (The answer of course being hell yes) Okay, okay. So, lets be a bit more serious with this post (Pft, lol). For those of you who follow me, you might have seen when I wrote a little article about my birthday which just happened on this last July 19th. My whore of a friend @saywha decided to not be a pussyboi for once in his life and created one of the coolest little figures I've ever owned as a birthday present for me. Hell, it was probably the coolest birthday gift I received this year hands down (Though there wasn't much competition this year) I guess someone who sucks as much as @saywha can be pretty cool occasionally. 

I'm pretty honored that I got to be the recipient of the first ever real life Steem Monster, as I would have been happy to just get one of the drawn ones since I've always dug his art style for them and how personal they are for each person. I would say having one is sort of like a Steemit badge of honor, showing that you aren't a complete shitbag, just mostly one. But, enough sucking off saywha's wrinkled old man penis, lets actually take a look at what this 3D printed Steem Monster actually looks like. 

Behold, here it is in all of it's beautiful glory. As you can see, it's perfectly resembles how rotten and weird of a person I am in Steem Monster form, of course. Saywha was even kind enough to include an (What I would assume is 3D printed) assault rifle with grenade launcher attached and some boxes of ammo for said AR. I would honestly say this is the personification of The Murderberry come to life. But, besides his gangrene colored skin, his devious smile and his cool little pew pew stick of death, there's one other feature that I feel is the most important on this little guy. 

 

And that would be his perky, exposed little nipples. Just ripe for rubbing and twisting all fucking day. Oh, God, yesssss. I mean, not that I would be into that kind of thing. It's not like I have a nipple clamp set that I use on a daily basis to twist my own nipples until they're purple and blue. I mean, come on, why would you even bring something like that up, dude? Jesus, you guys have a sick mind. God. Anyways, yeah, he's even got his own set of nipples. I would imagine that his reaction was probably something like this when he noticed. But, I'm sure some of you are curious about how big this figure is so lets show off a size comparison to give you some scale. 

Here he is pictured next to my 8 bit Xenomorph Funko Pop which stands at about 3 and 3/4th inches tall, if I recall correctly. As you can see there is quite a size differences. But, that doesn't deter this Steem Monster from flexing his peepee at the Xenomorph and letting him know who is the alpha chad in this relationship. No soyboy alien is going to get in between a Steem Monster and his quest for cobra whiskey, she-boys and the American dream, baby! But, what's this? A new contender to the thrown has appeared! 

Now, this figure is one that I scored for a screaming deal awhile back. It's a Predator figure from AVP in thermal vision finish that stands at about 6 inches tall which was made by Titan Vinyl. Again, this doesn't prevent my Steem Monster from flaunting his sexual prowess to the creature. He is a god damn sexual Tyrannosaurus, and he's going to make sure that everyone knows it. I mean, come on, those clamp like arms look PERFECT FOR SOME GOD DAMN NIPPLE TWISTING. THESE GUYS ARE BASICALLY BEST SOUL MATE FRIENDS. 

Alright, I'll stop being a stupid fuck with this and finish this post up. I again want to thank @saywha for being an awesome friend and hooking me up with this rad figure. It was a great birthday gift and was very thoughtful and cool of him to do. Even if we get into arguments about why his love of The Last Jedi is misplaced and disgusting to me, I'm very thankful to have met him and befriended him. Even if his movie taste is terrible. Seriously, HE LITERALLY SAYS THE LAST JEDI IS HIS FAVORITE STAR WARS FILM. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, DUDE? 

I hope you've enjoyed seeing the final product, and I'm sure I'll use him for future posts after we've moved and everything. For now, he's probably going to be wrapped in bubble wrap along with the rest of my figures for the move, before promptly being placed on a shelf and gathering dust as he sits and rots away in the darkness with the rest of my vinyl figures and vintage toys. But, yeah, thanks for stopping by to check out the post! Appreciate it!