Comedy Open Mic Round #32 - Harrogate, that's outrageous!
It happens to most of us at some point. Holiday time. This day it was our turn. This was our first ever plane trip. Didn't have a clue what to expect. Couldn't do much. Just sit there, squished in to tiny little seats.
Take off was quite smooth. Then the plane leveled off. The pilot announced that we were cursing at 550 something or other. Knots I think he said. I couldn't really hear him properly. It was loud in our flying tin can.
Busy thinking about tinned sardines, I was doing my best. Trying to ignore the noisy rebel two rows in front. He was loud. He certainly didn't like wearing the seatbelt. Screamed his head off. The seatbelt light went out. It went quiet. They'd released him to run riot, clambering over the seats.
There, that's him. The noisy rebel. Ok, I know he's my grandson, but damn that boys got a pair of lungs.
Snack time came!
The stewardesses started the trolley run for anyone who had the munchies. There was a reasonable choice of food and drinks. I opted for a coffee with chocolate brownie, and a bottle of Harrogate spring water.
The coffee was… ok. The Brownie, Oooo delicious 👍
Apparently, the composition of Belgium chocolate has been regulated by law since 1894.… Really?!
Yes!, It must be true. It says so on the box.
Boredom!
I'm not too sure if I made it obvious with that last statement. I was getting bored. Not much to do on a plane. You can wait. Go to the loo. Wait. Wait some more. Check you put your phone in flight mode. Wait. Rummage through the pocket on the back of the seat in front of you.
Ahh, a magazine...
Flick through the magazine. Look at all the crap their gonna try and sell you in a minute when the gift trolley gets a run up the aisle. Wait some more. Oh hang on… they haven't taken enough money from you yet. Now's your chance to give to some charity or other. Quick, get your loose change out, their coming down with the collection box. They don't care what currency it is. Just throw it in there.
Damn, that was fun!
I'm nearly skint before I get to my holiday destination, but it did relived the boredom for a minute or two. What to do now?
Ah, my phone. It's a clever one. A smartphone. It can take photos. Yeah, I'll do that. I'll get some in flight snaps!
A view out the window
Shit, didn't get the window seat. Is that the wing out there? Awesome, it's still attached.
The daughter
Yeap, that's her generic photo pose.
The back of the seat in front
It was just below that bit that I found the magazine of random expensive shit.
A random passengers leg
The snack trolley
Ok so that was one from earlier. I was bored then too.
A close-up of the random passengers leg
Is the 'ming' brand a thing?
The bottle of Harrogate spring water
Ahhh… Refreshing.
The ingredients of Harrogate spring water
Calm down @dandays, i know you like to examine ingredients but it's not that exciting.
Recycling info for a Harrogate spring water bottle
The rebel and his sister
The exit sign
You don't understand. It can be confusing trying to find the exit on a plane. Especially a plane with one narrow aisle down the middle.
Oh Wait… did you see that? - Rewind…
Recycling info for a Harrogate spring water bottle
Harrogate… You What!
My mind started racing.
What do you mean 'Proudly'?
And more to the point, what do you mean '50% recycled pet'?
How the hell can you be proud about making your bottle from 50% recycled pet? That's Outrageous. What about the people who loved those pets? Were the pets dead when you recycled them? It can't be true…. Can it? I know, I'll Google it. Damn, I can't, phones in aeroplane mode. It does say so on the bottle. They want me to believe the Belgian chocolate thing. Do I believe this too…. Shit, I think I'm hyperventilating.
Calm down and find the sick bag
Breathe in the bag, is that what you do? I don't know I'll try it. Is the bag ment to be brown paper for this to work? This one is white with pink stripes. Who cares, just try it.
Think about something else!
Yeah, I'll do that. (Telepathic thoughts to pilot) Hurry up and land this sardine can with wings. Come on land, this flight is taking way too long.
A bit later on…
We landed, great! The pilot hit the breaks and after many of us headbutted the seat in front of us, the plane stopped. Then was the mad scramble to get off. Which way was it again?
Ah yes, the exit sign… let's go that way
Oh… hang on, people need to get their luggage from the overheads. Ooo, I know… let's wait some more.
Eventually
Off the plane. Woohoo!
Of course then we had to focus on getting out of the airport. My Google inquiry had to wait a little longer. We did the passport check thing, grabbed our bags from the revolving belt gizmo, and followed a small bunch strangers that looked like they knew the way out.
Outside
That was it. I couldn't wait any longer. That's all I've been doing all day. Waiting for this waiting for tbat… no more!
Quick crank up the Google browser!
What is the meaning of recycled pet?
Phew!
What a relief. All is right with the world again. Well, at least as right as it was when we boarded the plane. It seems that they're talking about a type of plastic.
Or are they?
Nominations: Come on @dandays you know you want to. And umm… hey Mr @jlsplatts did you have a go yet?
Hi sivehead,
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)
Judges:
If you have any questions or queries please feel free to contact one of the judges or come say hi in discord: Click Here
Thank you to @matytan for the great banner
i can see the merits of recycling a pet into a bottle that we can use forever, such a great keepsake to cherish the memories and practical too
Ha ya, I can just imagine a turtle shell whisky flask 👍
Laugh out loud.
Your balance is below $0.3. Your account is running low and should be replenished. You have roughly 10 more @dustsweeper votes. Check out the Dustsweeper FAQ here: https://steemit.com/dustsweeper/@dustsweeper/dustsweeper-faq
This child is looking comedian and so amazing
At first, I was very confused but then once it got rolling I couldn't stop laughing. I loved the recycled pet part. as @dandays said you should come over to the COM discord room and say hi. Once you introduce yourself we can open up more rooms for you to be able to see. I hit you with my little curation trail I am starting so i hope that helps out some
:)
-doomsdaychassis
@orphansofdoom. Hey thanks a lot for helping him out doomsday! I wouldn’t have recognized you had you not signed your name. Shoot me a line with your doomsday screen name, ya? I appreciate you noticing @sivehead I’ve been following him for a long one now and he’s always making me laugh. This is his first trail, ya’all did a good thing here.
edit Oh ya, while I’m here I guess I might as well congratulate @sivehead on the trail. See dude, you totally suck!
It is my own little personal mission to help reward COM posts that I feel are underpaid. I have been a guest judge for COM a bunch of times and I know how much work they put into making it all work and to be fair with every single entry so I am just making myself my own little thing here and hopefully, I can expand it all over steemit. I just started doing it yesterday. I really like the post. It was great. I hope you all keep putting in entries.
Thank you @doomsdaychassis I really appreciate your support.
Yeah the first couple of paragraphs were a little flat I know. I didn't intend to enter it in COM when I started but by the end I thought... what the hell, I've got nothing to lose. And man am I gald i did.
Ive been quite busy lately but I'll try to pop on discord when I can.
Thanks again man
Very good choice. It was very funny. No need for thanks. I am just trying to get this place fired up.
That was awesome! I was laughing the whole way through your recycled pet panic. That was hilarious!
Me and ingredients though? I think you’re exaggerating for the sake of #comedy. Cuz really I only read the ingredients in stuff I eat, drink, touch, swim in, wear, watch, look at, sleep in, sleep on, wash with, eat with, drive behind the wheel of, look through, listen to, listen with, touch, point at...
Great job here @sivehead! Thanks a lot for the nomination - My pleasure!
Hey if you click on that discord link in the comment from #com-judge or this one (they’re the same) it’s an invite to the com discord channel. Come check it out, it’s pretty cool. We’re the only ones laughing at our jokes over there too! And man I can’t stop laughing.
@dandays man, I'm totally overwhelmed. It's like I won the lotto or something. And my Rep jumped from 46 to 50.
I'll get to that discord thing as soon as I can, but my list of shit I have to get done just doesn't seem to get any shorter at the moment. Also why it's taken me so long to respond here.
I will get to your #fff post too!
As always I really appreciate your support and I think it's awesome the way you thank others for supporting me. That is just so unbelievably awesome of you.
Take your time. Ya you’re in the fitty club now, it takes some getting used to. Deep breaths, warm shower, just take it easy, you’ll get through it.
I only thanked those guys out of pure selfishness. You see, I’m only doing these things hoping to increase your wallet value that way your weight is more valuable when you Upvote me. 👍🏿
Ah so you do have a devilish side. I'm not sure if I sholud feel used.
But that's fine, I'm happy to come along for the ride 😁
Hahaha, I couldn't stop laughing! Can I ask you how long was the flight? :D Those little rebels on planes! Thanks to them I can't usually sleep, lol. But if it was your blood you couldn't even get upset about it :D
And those magazines! They should change them more frequently for people who travel a lot. It happens that I see the same one for many times :D
That part our the PET was hilarious :D You have a great imaginations!
Thank you for sharing. This is a great entry to comedy open mic!
Umm, in my time, about 18 hours... in reality about 2.5 hours.
I see that a muffler was put in the rebel. That was good thinking.
I'm still not clear on how they make plastic from pets. It can't be a healthy process for them. 🤔
Yes, now that there 'muffler' has to be one of the most ingenious inventions of all time.
Hi sivehead,
Visit curiesteem.com or join the Curie Discord community to learn more.
Good lookin out @curie!
Thank you @curie that means a lot 👍
Almost "everything" becomes interesting on a boring flight😃, well, you kept yourself busy while waiting..... What a long wait that must have been
The pet thing was so hilarious 😃 so it's just some kinda plastic? Was confused for a few seconds😃. Who reads the ingredient list on a bottle of water though? (again, boredom!) but reading that was so much fun...
I do love rebels though, the little ones I mean😉
How crazy it was for you to follow people whom you though knew the way😅, well, you came back! 😃
It's crazy how funny it is reading about your boredom...
Oh you'd be surprised at the ingredient lists @dandays like to read. 😁
😃 now, I want to know....
That was pure genius my friend! Just brilliant!!! Each step of the way I was with you, laughing and all. Why are all airplane rides just alike? Lucky for you your rebel was related by blood… we never get that lucky ourselves 🤡. Well written sir 👏👏 comedy open mic indeed!
Thank you @puravidaville. I'm so glad you enjoyed it and it pleases me to know I've managed to make you and others laugh. Its what life should be full of.
Thanks for your continued support
Yes- full bellies and constant laughter… sounds like a perfect life to me. Great job dude! I’m really happy for you… now you’ve got to keep this making us laugh thing up… no pressure 🤡
I'll certainly do what I can, but please remember that I'm only human. You may encounter the odd off day.
You’re doing great!