Goofy me, Comedy open Mic - Round 5, 2nd entry

comedy open mic - round 5

I have had more mishaps in life than smooth events. It takes the skin of a rhino to remain cool when you face people after one such mishap. I shall detail some below just so you know whom you are dealing with before you lend steem power or something. I don't know if there are generous souls lending steem power just like that to some stranger minnow like me or else I would have to work up some bs to win some 'win steem power contest'.

Now for the mishap(s)

• Trying to make coffee for the newly married couple, (my dad's apprentice and his wife). My dad and mom were not there when they came to visit us. I was a little girl but thought I knew it all. I asked them to sit down and went to the kitchen. Brought back a plate of biscuits and offered it to them. I went back and started 'preparing coffee' for two. I mixed decoction with milk and sugar and a little bit of hot water from the vacuum flask. I knew the job was easy, had seen my mother do it daily. I knew it all. Then I proceeded to pour the coffee into two cups, placed it on a tray and took it to them. I gave them the coffee and asked them to drink it.( yeah this actually happened)
  The newlywed started to drink the coffee. The man told his wife - "See, she is trained at this age, wow" Two seconds later, after the first sip, they look at each other and they smile at me. They said nothing but continued to drink the coffee and kept the cups down.
  A few minutes later, my parents arrived and my mom takes in the whole scene in about a nanosecond. She smiles and asks about the coffee. They replied that it was ok but a bit too cold and too sweet. OMG, I had not heated the milk and had put too much of sugar. Well, the elders were gentle and tried not to make a joke out of it, thank god but I had wished to disappear then and there. The newlyweds must have had a hard laugh afterward.

• Then there was this time(s) after my marriage. I was born in the city and raised in the city, where the only greens you get to see are potted plants and a few trees near the park. I married a proper farmer. I shifted to the village. everything was new to me, then. One fine day, when farm helpers were a common sight and we had lots of people around and my mother in law was busy preparing food and serving them, I walked around trying to be of help. I wanted to give my best and create a good impression. (oh dear) Well, I walked into the farmland and saw an eggplant laid with ripe ones. We call them brinjals over here. I saw a yellow brinjal and thought that someone had missed plucking this one. With an air of triumph, I plucked it and took it to the house and showed it to my husband and mil, saying that they had missed it. one look at it and my husband blurted that I did not know the difference between goat shit and the Chinese potato( a small variety of potato which is about as much the size as goat shit). I was er offended and shocked but my mil was very understanding. She explained that it was kept for ripening so that they could use it for seeds. I learned a lesson but my husband learned not to offend me anymore..

Such things keep happening to me. so, it is not a first and won't be the last. just saying..

I nominate @karenmckersie and @kromosoom

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