Dear Therapy Thursday,
I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years, and we sometimes talk about the future, but we haven’t made plans. We aren’t having any kids or anything, and if we did get married it would probably be at city hall with a JP. Or so I thought.
Lately he has been so obsessed about the royal wedding. To be honest, I’m a bit shocked and annoyed, since he hardly notices anything else in life. He constantly has alerts going off to keep him up to date. Its ridiculous the way he is always trying to give me useless details. I don’t give a fuck about it. I just want to stop talking about weddings for christ sake.
It’s been months since he focused on anything to do with me or doing things together or with friends, and I wonder whats with the sudden interest in other peoples fairy tales?
I was on the fence about getting married, and his weirdness is’nt going to help. What the fuck is going on here? Is he showing early signs of being a shallow douchebag?
Sincerely,
No White Wedding

Dear Wedding,

Well, you’ve got a real conundrum there. A half-assed boyfriend with the hots for another couple. Awkward indeed. I can see why you are perplexed.

My thoughts? First of all, it’s hard to believe this is a real question since no one on Steemit seems to notice much that isn't crypto related. However, I will continue.

Your boyfriend seems quite distracted by this new interest of his. You have to ask yourself is it the interest in the wedding that bothers you or the fact that your boyfriend is spending all his time in the cozy threesome that is Harry, Meghan and He. Perhaps he is dreaming of the moments they will spend together, living the fairytale life that is so far from him now.

Listen, Wedding, you seem like someone who can handle a truth-bomb. I’m going to level with you. It’s obvious your boyfriend is trying to get you to break up with him.

I’m sorry to be the one to tell you. He is pretending to be obsessed with the vapid, reptilian world of the monarchy to drive a wedge in your love. He knows it burns your buttons when he waxes poetic about whether or not Meghan will wear white (she did!) or if her father will finally stop embarrassing her (he didn’t!). He can see the visible twitching you display when he talks about buttercream frosting(mmmm) and fascinator styles(they are amazing).

I’ll go one step further and say that he probably already has a much nicer, less judgemental woman in mind to be his future Ms. Markle. I’m sure she will be far more beautiful, refined and elegant than you, a woman who poo-poos his interest in such important world affairs.

Since the royal wedding has already passed, I can only assume he has broken up with you, now that you have been exposed as someone who is not influenced by the trends of the world around you. Good luck parlaying that Negative Nelly attitude into a successful future relationship.

Don’t ever write me again.

Mrs. Birdman

Dear, Why Would You Want To Marry A Gay Guy,

I guess we're switching up the good therapist/bad therapist roles this week. It looks like you're getting bad therapist/bad therapist

I'll start off by saying that there is nothing wrong with being gay. Sometimes I wish I could be like my friends Amir and Carl, but I know what guys do with their dicks, so there's no way I could put one in my mouth.

I'm just kidding. I was only pointing out a stereotype that while probably accurate, isn't fair to say for certain. I was also trying to plug a funny song that doesn't really need plugging, (it made some people laugh) but that you should listen to anyhow.

So why are you coming to us? Are you afraid to confront your totally gay boyfriend? Is it because you know he's gay and you are trying to figure out a way to end it without admitting he's gay?

Objection, your honour. Speculation.

Go and talk to him openly and honestly. Tell him your fears and your suspicions and if he is open and honest with you, then you can both move forward from there.

If he throws a hissy fit and takes a swing at you with his Fendi Peekaboo, then you might as well quit wasting your time and hitch your wagon to someone who wants to settle down with a lady that has piss poor judgement.

That's all I got.

Birdman

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Listen, if you folks want better answers, we are going to need more than one topic to choose from. If we don't get at least one per week, then we will be forced to make them up, and I doubt you want to see where our imaginations can take us. I know I don't want to go there.

So here we are...
This is where we need help.

Everyone has problems, and in order to give advice, we need to know yours. It doesn't have to be relationship advice, although that seems to be a big one. It can be absolutely anything.

You can send them to

[email protected]
Or you can send it anonymously by going to our Harass Us Page and putting in a fake email address. (Make it creative.)

Or you can use an anonymous email thing that I know nothing about. I guess you could look them up, but it seems kind of shady to me. If you know of one that's legit, please let us know in the comments.

For our nominations, we are going with two new friends @shadowspub (I used the PYPT tag again) and @artemisnorth. What say ye? You can find out more here.