The Ballad of Jack and Bobby - Original Song - PROBABLY NSFW - Comedy Open Mic Round 14

in #comedyopenmic7 years ago

Probably NSFW for dildo-mic and really filthy naughty lyrics ;) Seriously, there is more dick in this song than you can shake a... penis at.

Lyrics by @amirtheawesome1 - 1/2 the SBD payout and 1/2 any prize earnings from this post will go to Amir. So don't be stingy with the updoots.

Original music, guitar, rusty trombone and vocals by @carlgnash

Safe For Work Cover Image:

And without further dudes, the Ballad of Jack and Bobby (lyrics below the video):

Lyrics by @amirtheawesome1. But I can't really blame him for this shit, I asked for all the penis. And I got it. Plus some!

The Ballad of Jack and Bobby - lyrics

I hang every day with Jack and Bobby
They know nothing of my secret hobby
Of sticking dicks in my mouth
I do it with some one on my bed
Getting deepthroat and giving head
That's what it's all about

Growers, show-ers and uncircumcised
Bigger, smaller and medium sized
Leaving my face looking like a donuts glazed
Kitchen, bathroom or by the shelf
I get on my knees looking like an elf
As they show love to my face

You ask me how I keep my skin smooth
I use a secret cream I milk from dudes
I like a men who is well endowed
To make me happy when the lights are out
I like it also when they call me Hannah
As I peal their dicks like a banana

Call it stupid, or call it dumb
But you can't say cirCUMcised without cum
I like them big and I like them small
Asian, white, or black, I like them all
I like it on my face or everywhere
Plus It's really good for my hair

Every night I go to their barn house
Bowl their corn and sow the seeds out
I wet their surface and milk their cows
I like to drive with manual sticks

I lie in bed at night ponder which to pick
Unpredictable, curvy or even Asian blurry dicks
I lie in bed at night ponder which to pick
Unpredictable, curvy or even Asian blurry dicks

I condemn @markangeltrueman and @misterakpan to participation in the noblest of contests, Comedy Open Mic

Sort:  

and with that song ComedyOpenMic enters a new era

100% upvoted, this be my current Jester pick for Round 14😘....but I already said that like a dozen times in COM Discord #anything-goes .... err...unless something more amazing pops up in the next 5 days 😛

hopefully something amazing "popped up" when you listened to this song?!?

I love your family friendly harmonies! I know a Butt.. ample and ready to accommodate all the the diversity sung of here!

I'm your biggest fan!

Please sign my dick!

You got it! Meet me in the #anything-goes channel at comedy open mic Discord? You better not just be a tease ;)

Deal! Just ignore all of the other names written on there. They didn't mean anything to me.

Hey, as long as you really are my biggest fan... I could care less!

I haven't wept like this since The Ballad of Poncho and Lefty.

Mission accomplished! My goal was to bring a tear to the eye or moisten the thigh. Or both :)

The goal was to get people to use tissues. Weeping is one.

I resteemed it. I jerked off with it. I wrapped its lyric on my dick. Damn! What more dicky thing is left to do? 😀

That was so hot. The music is soft like spaghettis, yet the lyric hard like a horse's dick.

That was really entertaining. I'll talk with Mark and see if we can pull something off in the bathroom with a camera 😂😂😂

Ah I see you are rising to the challenge already ;)

I think I now need to hear a version with you and the tts lady going full ball. will be hot.

Oh, and I will get on the comedyopenmic - I have an idea in the back of my head that i need to expand on.

But I aint singing for shit.

Excellent! No singing required, nor even video. You can just write something funny as well.

Well you did warn me you had something big planned and this was no disappointment!

The beard is looking really healthy at present.....

Well thank you sir! Actually I just hacked it off this afternoon LOL Going to rock the goatee look for a bit and let my dimples see the light of day :)

Tidy, and the beard!

A good plan to bring the dimples out for summer 🤗

i have a holy dick Carl. can someone really beat me to your treat?

Holy Branches, batman! That isn't a branch! It is a TREE! I may have to enlist the help of a few eager beavers I know, but sure! We can beat you, my treat. You can meet me in #anything-goes channel in Comedy Open Mic Discord I am sure we can work something out ;)

#anything-goes, #cock-room... you name it! my branches are game!

Long and hard, may our road be, but through perserverance and pure grit and determination, we will come out on top of the mountain and together enjoy the sweet nectar that spews forth.

Great work Carl, you and Amir are the new Zylon and Garfunkel.

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