Humans aren't Mice- COM round 12

in comedyopenmic •  13 days ago

Humans aren't Mice

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photo by @whatsup

Humans are not mice. That’s the first lesson you learn in school. Humans are giant awkwardly walking, weird looking people who are here to serve us delicious food. They make tasty wires, except, some are faulty and emit sparks. I chose this cozy house for myself, as I’m thinking of settling down. My brother already has 100 children, and my mom nags me incessantly to find a mouse. Recently, I found someone...

I am in love with her. I was standing around the corner of the stairs trying to choose my lunch - shoes or carpet when she came and screamed like my cousin Paco when he was being tortured in a scientific experiment. But one look at her face, I was smitten. Sure, her coat is not furry and she has weird teeth, but something about her got to me. We stood there looking at each other for an eternity. Isn’t love magical?

The spell broke, and I felt giddy. I moved in one direction, realized my lady was making tea and then I moved in another. But then she did something that made my fall into the quicksand of love complete. She gifted me a cheese grater. You know sometimes you’re tired but want to eat cheese, well this cheese grater thing makes cheese into small pieces, so you don’t have to gnaw. Unfortunately, the passionate lady threw it with great force, leaving me to scurry behind the giant microwave.

Next day, I brushed my fur, and I thought I’d surprise her. I crawled up to her bedroom. She looked panic-stricken. I was hurt. Until I realize her husband is with her. Yes, we must not let the husband know. So I go across the room before he sees me.

Now she’s been leaving food all over the house, trying to seduce me. But her husband has been setting these traps because I think he’s onto us. I don’t want to mix both of them up, so to be safe, I’m eating her husband’s shoes. That’ll annoy him.


I nominate @whatsup and @hispeedimagins to come up with a funny post for comedy open mic.

Thanks to @thewritersblock for the editing

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my cat brings dead mice as offerings to me

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Your cat loves you

I'm sorry about your cousin Paco. He was in the transgenic strain and we had to inoculate him. As far as your new love I am very pleased and congratulate you in your discovery. Enjoy the food she leaves for you and avoid her husband's traps. We will have to call him Shoeless Joe mi amigo.

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Arriba Arriba

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Pesky husbands.... shaking my head, man haha

Mice are great, you have a high sense of humor.

Nice one! I love it. Entry received, good luck!

No we ain't . They're better than us. They don't kill each other and f..k sh.t up