From The Land Of Ikea - Comedy Open Mic Week 3
Being a foreigner living in China I often get the question. ; "where are you from ?". When people ask me this I am not sure if they wonder what country I am from or if I am an alien, I guess that's fair since there is approximately one blonde per 1 million brunettes here.
Anyways when I say Sweden the first thing people will say is "IKEA". They say nothing after that just "IKEA" and then they are quiet. I find it a bit offensive to be honest, it's as if people think Sweden is defined by IKEA and that's all we are about, we also have companies like Volvo, even though unfortunately it was sold to China. Also let's not forget about Ericsson mobiles that followed Nokia into bankruptcy ( I blame that one on Nokia and Finland).
Being honest though I have to admit that IKEA is a big part of Swedish people's life and identity. In school for religious study we didn't learn about the birth of Christ we learned about the birth of IKEA. We don't talk about B.C. or A.D. we talk about B.I. and A.I. In history we don't really study anything B.I. as it's not considered to be significant.
I love my country Sweden but I had to move from there to China back in High school. It became known that I was not produced on an IKEA bed but on an American bed with the brand slumberland. I was shunned from my community and my Swedish passport was later revoked by the Swedish government.
Above is a photo on the day I left for China and the Swedish King and Queen said good bye to me. I keep no grudge though and I am still proud to be Swedish. I just wish Swedish people could be a little bit less fixated on IKEA. There are other fun things to build than just furniture, which reminds me I better get back to my game of Jenga so I can show my wife how to erect a Swedish Tower.
Showing the Swedish wood was just the right touch. If you got into the IKEA Swedish meatballs, we might've had to have a talk. This was very funny, and not just saying that because you're a judge.
Haha thanks buddy ! I tried to keep it relatively clean- which you know is hard for me lol
i've not seen a judge suck
-up toanother judge so efficiently since itchy agreed to everything take5 said in their 1st chat👍👍- impressive kissassory
We have a deal me and Matty, I scratch his balls he scratch mine. He has skinny long fingers and I have short chubby fingers so we complement each other ...
i hope you get splinters assembling your next comedyopenmic post dandy
👍👍- ikea is a cult with the wives
Haha. Well In Sweden if you support Ikea the government guarantees you a wife, so yea it's kind of like a cult
Hehehhe, nice work @dandesign86. I don't assume this will make you feel any better about things, but....here in the US prior to IKEA's blonde wood invasion (in the 1980s), most americans thought of this when they thought of Sweden:
(I'm sure there is a "Fat American" joke nested somewhere in this comment)
Haha Swedish candy is actually really good. Have you been checking out IKEAs selection recently ? When you get a candy bag and fill it up and the price is based on the weight ? That's some good stuff
No, I haven't :(
We recently moved to an IKEA desert (to be clear, the closest IKEA is a five hour drive from our new residence) so we no longer go to the store. IKEA experiences are now punctuated by two large smelly dudes scowling at us while unloading huge boxes of IKEA freight out of a short-haul delivery truck onto our driveway. No meatballs. No intrepid cart-rides down the super wide aisles. No absurdly large bags in stark, primary colors into which go items we are unable to pronounce.
On a side note, was in Iceland recently (apologies, not trying to conflate the Scandinavian people into one homogenized unit) and learned about their obsession with putting salted licorice into everything. The flavor sort of grew on me... are you Swedes doing this little trick too? Still haven't been to Sweden yet, someday soon :)
Oh yea we are also about the licorice when it comes to candy. It's really weird for a lot of people that we have such salty treats but we like salt in general. Coming from such a cold place preserving food with salt I guess has given us a craving for it.
Ahah I have some Ikea Furnitures! How many Ikea's furniter you are supposed to buy to obtain the swedish passport?
Scania is very popular here if you know some truck drivers (my brother is...)
Hahaa 95 percent of your furniture has to be from IKEA, and you should preferably drive a Volvo hehe
Absolutely it was crazy funny.! LOL the last gif.!
Haha Thank you - i was happy when I found that gif
It caused me a stomach hurt for laughing so hard 😂
Can you please nominate 2 people to enter the #comedyopenmic contest
Definitely! Should I ask the people I nominate to do the same ? So we get a rolling snowball effect ?
Yup. Every entry now needs to nominate 2 people.
Hahaha nice one. I didn’t know you were ikeish though.
I have no choice, it's either that or jail in Sweden, plus the furniture in the jail would have been from IKEA, so there is no way escaping it anyways
Huh, When I ever Sweden comes up in conversation with Chinese people they often say "Where is that?" and I say Ikea and they say oh right. I suppose I should find another example. Vikings just doesn't cut because then I have to explain vikings.
And are serous about getting your passport revoked?
Haha I still have my Swedish passport. This was a submission to a new comedy competition called #comedyopenmic , so it's a bit out of context hehe . I'm a judge in this competition as well and we are trying to grow the comedy community here, step by step , feel free to join !
Hahaha very funny post vlog thiss is
Very Funny.Thanks For Sharing.Have a Nice Day.