TV Time: Comedyopenmic 38 second entry

in #comedyopenmic5 years ago

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I’m generally not a fan of watching TV but when I do, I basically watch Sports channels, Nat Geo wild and those stations that show bloopers, epic fails and the likes. It’s a small group and really isn’t much but I get by. Living with people means I have to share TV time, my small group of interest means I spend the least amount of time watching, so whenever it’s Belemo’s time to pick the station, there’s never any outward complain but obvious discomfort. As much as I appreciate people watvhing TV with me, I’d generally prefer if they’d just let me watch alone or at the least shut up.

The toughest time is watching my favorite shows on Nat Geo wild. The first show is basically about a coked up white guy with an Australian accent(I’m looking at you @idikuci) going out of his way to live like the average Nigerian and call the show “ultimate survival” or something corny like that. I watch these shows in awe, not solely because of the sort of scenarios he has to endure but it just shows the standard of living in other places; that it is actual entertainment to mimic suffering.
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After watching @take5’s cousin survive in the tundra with nothing but a toothpick, some sticks and a rock hard dick and that’s not even the hard part. The toughest part is having to watch Killer Instinct with any female around. Killer instinct is basically a show about a white guy giving live commentary as say a cheetah chases down a gazelle. These shows will literally get your blood jumping, from the sound tracks, to the deep baritone voiceover guy and slow motion scenes, its safe to say they know what they’re doing. The best part which is watching the predators enjoy their hard fought meal and that’s constantly ruined by women; according to female logic the preys are the good guys and the hardworking predators that work five times as hard to earn a simple meal are the bad guys. I wonder where they get these ideas from.
Quitting TV seems like the only thing left to do, ever since I watched a harmless, gentle, marooned Lion trying to eat a buffalo and ended up getting mauled by a couple members of the herd, its not been the same. Others saw nature in its crudest form but I saw the equivalent of a box of pizza murdering an individual; such a cruel way to go.
This nature piece is for @comedyopenmic weekly contest, I nominate @trumpman and @detlev for this round.

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I think I wrote a piece about that a while back about why the world hates America. We have shows like survivor and other cultures are like WTF that is a Monday. Get the fuck out of here with that shit. I also misread your "killer instinct" and thought you meant "basic instinct" where Sharon Stone does the leg cross thing.

I mean I am a white guy and I would be uncomfortable trying to hide my boner around a bunch of people. I couldn't imagine being Nigerian trying to hide something the size of my forearm.

and thats not even when its erect.
Patrick looks scared as fuck, He loves under a rock and that's Sharon Stone. He shiuke feel right at home

and thats not even when its erect.
Patrick looks scared as fuck, He loves under a rock and that's Sharon Stone. He shiuke feel right at home

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LMAO "coked up white guy with an australian accent"

They always look jacked up on something, its the only explanation

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