Isis Guides (Pop Song of The Summer Part 5) - COM #31 Entry 2

Hey everyone, this the fifth installment to my pop album. See other songs here (fat, boobs and boners, lazy, hotdamn electricity).

Not that I'm suggesting anyone to do so. Here's an Isis guide for those looking to join. This might a more enjoyable experience if you listen to the original songs I'm lyrically parodying. The links for the songs will be attached to the names of the original songs.

(Verse 1) Passenger - Let her go

Well, you're truly joining Isis
When you're shooting roads
Only hold a grenade
If you intend to throw
Only hold their necks up
For the blood to flow

Only kill in tens
Any less is low
Only wear black
So we know you're pro
Only think of your beard
If you let it grow

And you let it grow

Waiting at the field of grass
Hold to the bomb that'll blow up that class
Then your bomb blows and they're running fast

I see you have those eager martyr eyes
One that blows cars, and holds heads to slice
Everything you touch surely dies (Wow, didn't need to change that one)

But, you only kill women
When their ankles show
Only get your payment
When the car explodes
Only take the bomb
When attending concert show

Only get to the roof
When you shoot below
You only rank up
When you're blowing homes
Only get to heaven
When your body blows

And you let it blow

(Verse 2) Luis Fonsi - Despacito

See, all the people you could blow today
All the buildings you could destroy
Without some fire this mall is just lame
Here take the rifle and go enjoy

"Dude, I know that you're feeling like the man
But first we must come up with a smart plan
We don't want to end up in Guantanamo

There, they'll make us walk on broken glass
Feeding dozen of sausages through the ass
So focus, which one we wanna blow"

Uhmm....

Kill all people
Only solution is for us to kill all the people
We'll blow as hard as the star wars prequels
And shoot them hard with that desert eagle
Kill all people
Look around and find the nearest cathedral
Make sure all your strikers are fucking lethal
Stick your knife deep inside their pee holes

Blow them as hard as hurricane Maria did to Puerto Rico
As crazy as Jim Carrey went loca
When he did that fashion week show

Rip them apart like we do mosquitoes
Break their bones like orange Doritos
Then peacefully pray, to the mosque we go

(Obligatory rap) Daddy Yankee

It's time for bombs and guns brawl
Twitter will have a hashtag bawl
Unless it happens in an Arab mall
In that case then fuck them all
We'll trend worldwide unless Kim K shows some bum
Or we find out a new porn star has made Trump cum
Unless we kill some rich non-binary named Jackie
We don't want to make twitter unhappy
So wait till Nicki Minaj is feuding with Cardin
Actually let's focus only on killing Iraqis

All is equal. So kill all kind people
Blow a steeple, to show that we're peaceful
Like the kind mother Theresa
This is our heaven visa

Get the laypeople, shoot the desert eagle
Have them squirm around seagulls
You could never have peace, ya.
Unless it's from a pizza (get it?)

I nominate @carlgnash to sing this mess. As well @llfarms because at this point it's just a habit.