The Good Wife: Comedy Open Mic Round #9 (Entry 1)
This afternoon, as the Great Blizzard of 2018 prepared to bury us inside for the weekend, my wife arrived home with two cases of beer, three bottles of wine, a jug of Jack Daniels whiskey, a quarter bag of laboratory grade marijuana, chips, salsa, chocolates, a bouquet of red flowers, sex lubricant, pornography videos, a stack of split logs for the fire, and a variety of sundry groceries for fixing many dinners.
I wanted to share this with the Comedy Open Mic group, not to brag, but to prove that I have found the best wife a guy could imagine.
I only wish she would have picked up something for herself.
You could say that mine got me the same thing minus the two cases of beer, three bottles of wine, a jug of jack daniels whiskey, chips, salsa, chocolates, a bouquet of red flowers, lube, porn or a stack of split logs. I did get the rest though.
Well it was the thought that counts.
Wow ! some people are just blind to signs of cheating!
That is so negative. She would never cheat. She even gives herself neck hickeys to scare off any guy who might make a move.
Was she surprised to find you at home?
I never leave.
Nominations this week: @thedailylaugh and @possumworks. I kind of miss you guys (not in a touchy/feely kind of way... just generally.)
Thank you.
You got a pretty good imagination, will come in handy during that blizzard.
Tip! for your puns, even though this post has a DEARTH of puns! ;)
Hi @acolucky! You have received 0.1 SBD tip from @improv!
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aww c'mon now be nice and let her carry a couple of those logs!!
Interestingly enough, "carrying logs" is a euphemism for sex here in Minnesota.
so is it a compliment if your husband calls you a lumberjack??