Be My Cheating Partner Judy Swallows, Please!
by The Invisible Man

Dear Judy Swallows,

I am your number one fan!

The first time I saw you, I felt sad. I could not believe a runner could be so chewy and grubby.

Your role in The Revenant was hairy and simply broken.

I've created a collection of pictures to remind me of you. My bedroom dresser is your shrine, lined with magazine articles.

My ambition is to go to Ireland together and engage in some serious cheating. I'd make you muffins then we'd watch football highlights until the sun set.

I'd love it if you could reply to me - tomorrow would be best. Oh, say you'll be my cheating partner Judy Swallows, please!

With your reply, please enclose some more pictures for my ever-growing collection.

Please, please, please reply.
Mike Weiner

Thanks for reading,
The Invisible Man
@theinvisibleman