Assholier Than Thou
Assholier Than Thou
...or Masshole Drivers Unite!
Sometimes it takes living here a while to get to know us.
We tend to be certain in our ways.
We tend to be the ones in the left lane.
We tend to forget our turn signal on occasion
(If by occasion you mean, when we are in the car)
We are always willing to slip into that space between
one car and the next, when changing lanes,
in a space so tight it would make a NASCAR Pro blush.
Do you know how you can tell someone born here?
...and someone who has lived here for a long time?
A true Masshole will not use his horn and would never flip you the bird.
If you cut him or her off, we tip our cap in silent salute to a better move
on the roads and vow,
"Tomorrow fellow Masshole,
tomorrow I'll get the better of you
on the next commute!"
There are two kinds of drivers in the world...
Massholes and everyone else.
I suspect you feel about my driving the way I do about the Chard:
Sure, it's pretty to look at, but I don't want it on my dining table...
Be good. Do good.
Don't be an Ass.
More of my ColourChallenge Posts
Monday - Red
Tuesday - Orange
Wednesday - Yellow
Thursday - Green
Friday - BlueSky
Saturday - Indigo
Sunday - Purple
oh no ... I enjoy swiss chard. It's like a different species of spinach which I also like.
So the driving you describe sounds a lot like the Quebecois.. who trained who?
Ironically, we aim for the cars with Quebec plates (Or New York)
they both are worth the same points
from what I've seen of the former, they will be aiming for you about the same time.
hehe!
Your post really made me chuckle. Thank you! The Chard does look pretty I agree and I would probably prefer a burger!
thanks!
I do love my gardening.
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Invites sent
mmmmm i'm gonna send you a recipe for chard and change your mind! :)
Damn must be fun to drive there and with such sportsmanship everyone wins :)
no.
you're doing it wrong.
Not everyone wins.
BTW, no Idea why they have rear view mirrors... unless its to see all the faces of all those who come second best.
Oh man, the chard tied together perfectly with this story!
thanks
On a side, note, it is a cool looking thing.
The deep lush greens, and the vibrant reds.
Ah hahahaha!! I am never ever driving if I come over for a visit- that sounds terrifying. As for chard... never really seen the point of it, I must admit.
E x
you visit, I'll drive!
Sounds like a plan!
I LOVE your sense of humor! And you're right, I would prefer not to have your Masshole on my table ;)
Fabulous poem and I think I'm going to be wondering if some of the drivers on the road here in Oklahoma happen to be Massholes next time I'm driving!
If they use a blinker, NOPE. but if they cut you off and never look back, no blinnkah! Could be! Very well, could be!
Ah, but do you change into a faster lane when difference in speed of the incoming cars behind you is more than 20kph making everyone hit the brakes hard?
I have no frame of reference for the question.
what do you mean when you say, "other cars are more than 20kph faster than me?"
that's utter nonsense.
Haha, sorry I was pretty unclear! I meant that here in NL, sometimes drivers will change to a new lane, despite the fact they are going much slower than the traffic that is coming up behind them (there might be a temporary gap, but the difference in speeds is huge!).
Oh... here in the US, everyone goes slower than me.
OMG that is such a great line. What a well described character you've created. I used to pull off race-car driving moves, but now I'm a mom who lives in the country. In Canada. There are multi-lane interstates almost everywhere in the USA. Driving up here vs. down there is just different, and I've gotten used to mostly laid-back, careful driving. My teenage self would be cringing to see me now. lol!
"...a well described character you've created..."
Right. totally not me.
Not one bit.
At all.