Where is the photo of our purple letterbox? and our purple front door? And all your purple T-shirts? And don't forget our purple bathmat, and the purple colour scheme on your browser, and the purple curtains in our shed/ workshop / homegym.

And now I'm going to tell a story you were probably trying to keep quiet...

Some years ago we went to a comedy show featuring some female kiwi comics. Somehow we managed to end up right in front of the stage. Just in the right place for one of them to notice Ian in his purple Fox shirt. She asked his name, and then asked if the purple top meant he was really called Lesb-Ian. She then managed to bring that up several times over the evening.