正思維:抱怨是敗德之行

in #cn5 years ago

人有抱怨的習慣,卻不知道這個習慣會給自己帶來許多的麻煩。夫妻相互抱怨,能永久恩愛嗎?兒女對父母抱怨,父母會甘心情願付出愛嗎?下屬對上司抱怨,上司會欣賞這樣的人嗎?過去的帝王,對於抱怨的臣子不但冷落以對,臣子甚至還可能招來殺身之禍。抱怨之害,尤有甚者,列舉如下:

一、抱怨是喪誌之始:人一旦心中滿懷怨恨,所謂怨天尤人,總覺得世間不公平,覺得天下人都對不起自己,這就是人生危險的訊號。因為你對社會的熱情不夠,對人生的際遇認識不清,對自己的付出心有不甘,對自己的獲得有所不滿,因此忿忿不平,懷憂喪志,人生從此一蹶不振。其實,這個社會必定先要有所付出,才能贏得相對的收入;你只是抱怨付出,怎麼會有好的結果呢?

二、抱怨是結仇之源:抱怨絕對不能獲得歡喜,你抱怨人家一分,別人回給你的可能是加倍的排斥。合夥人本來是共同打拼,但你總抱怨對方的不足,難道對方就會滿意、欽佩你嗎?語云“敬人者,人恆敬之”,相同的,“怨人者,人恆怨之”,“管鮑之交”就是說鮑叔牙不介意管仲,在錢財、事業上沒有半句怨言,所以兩人才能相知相惜,才會有好的結果。

三、抱怨是敗德之行:人一旦有了抱怨,情緒一定非常惡劣,就借酒澆愁。有的人甚至“一不做,二不休”,因為對家庭抱怨多,他乾脆不回家,整日徘徊在酒廊舞廳裡;因為對公司有很多不滿,他可以請假出遊,甚至洩露機密,使公司受到損失。抱怨的結果,可能對方損失有限,但自己則有更大的敗德之行。例如抱怨父母者,成了不孝兒女;抱怨朋友者,最後反目成仇;抱怨同事者,明爭暗鬥。種種敗德的行為,都由於抱怨而產生,殊為可怕。

四、抱怨是造業之因:世上很多的打鬥、毀壞、嗔殺等行為,都是因為抱怨而起,所以抱怨是造業之因。一個人如果時時心存善念,縱使受了委屈,被人欺負,只要自己有修養,稍加忍耐,也就過去了。假如感到利益不均,或者為人所侵占,也不能為了虛浮的財利,造下難以彌補的冤仇、業報,最後受害最大的還是自己。

因此,一個人一旦心中有了抱怨的念頭,自己應該立刻有所警覺,自己要懂得回心反省。

凡事能夠將心比心,甚至“寧願天下人負我,我不負天下人”,能夠存有如此善念,抱怨又由何而生呢?

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