Shaming the Whales - Even If They Have All The Money

in #circlejerk8 years ago (edited)

We all love it when things go our way. When the upvotes roll in and it's life on Easy Street, you almost get to just sit back and enjoy. But what're you going to do when the honeymoon's over?

Is your Whale getting out of line lately? Did you catch him camping in #introduceYourself upvoting ridiculous bimbos? Got himself a pot habit, a pot belly, a potty mouth and refuses to be potty trained? Find new potmarks on his ass from sitting around refreshing "Steemit: active" too much?

If so, come here, you deserve a hug. You came to the right place, Friend Coyote has the answers your heart needs so bad to feel alright again.

Girl, here's what you're going to do.

Shame the Whale

It may be scary at first because whales seem so big and strong. But they're really just big babies! They want to know you approve of them, and if you don't they start doubting themselves and get depressed. Use this fact to get your whale to straighten up his act! Don't spoil your whale, be strict when you have to!

  • Chafe against his manhood in the comments: "what kind of peabrained dickhead upvotes photos of bimbos with zero original content #foreverlame, #wouldNotGoOut, #its2016FFS,"
  • Identify him by name and brutally pop his delusions of whale grandeur: "Welp, with curators like this upvoting this trash, SteemIt really doesn't need any spammers.. #limpDickStrikesAgain"
  • Make him check his whale privilege: "Check your early miner privilege, asshole! You may have all the money but I have all the dignity and all the real upvotes from real people #ForkYouVeryMuch #NonBimboWomenOfColor"
  • Make him acutely aware of your expectations as a woman, and the fact that they're timeless: "You upvoted WHAT last year??? #datBlockchainIsForever #noBadDeedUnpunished"
  • If all else fails, remember you are a strong independent woman and don't need no whale (don't worry, there's always another whale in line): "You know, whale, you are what's wrong with this world, and I'm so done. I can't even... Like, right now I'd tell you to suck my dick, if I had one. So yeah, go suck on a dick for me, you goofy oversized plankton-chugging filthy mammal."

Remember, your whale is a simple creature of habit. Whales are quite trainable, and you can do it too!

You can do anything you put your mind to. But if you don't establish the boundaries early on in your relationship, it will only get worse with time, so let your whale know today who the real ice princess is (hint, not him, it's you and the community).

#circlejerk #steemit #whales #girlpower #shaming

PS: Nothing warms my heart more than the incipient amazing popularity of the #circlejerk tag on Steemit. YOU GO GIRL!!


Hi! This post has a Flesch-Kincaid grade level of 6.9 and reading ease of 78%. This puts the writing level on par with Stephen King and Dan Brown.

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