Why I'm Never Going To Tell My Kids About "Santa"...

Well, I'll be going against the grain with a lot of people on this topic, but I feel that more people need to address this....

I am not going to tell my children about Santa Clause as they are growing up. I don't have kids right now, but this is one of the many things that I've considered about multiple times and something that I feel is an overlooked topic about raising kids. "Why?" you might ask.. well, there are several reasons, but the one that sticks with me the most is a matter of principles. Quite frankly, regardless to how you slice it, rationalize about it, or justify your position on it, telling your kids that there is a Santa Clause, is an out right lie. I will gladly discuss the matter in further detail to anyone who disagrees.

Unless you are an adult who never had the veil of ignorance broken while you were growing up that suggested that there is a fat man out there, wearing a red suit and holding a magical sack, who travels around the world on a sleigh driven by reindeer that twitches his nose to shrink down to a size appropriate enough to fit through the chimney to deliver presents on Christmas, or a small child that doesn't know any better, it's likely that you know it isn't a true tale. It doesn't take a saint to tell you that when you are knowingly telling someone false information, you are telling a lie. It might even further be said that even when you believe what you are saying, it still doesn't make it true, but I doubt anyone could present a good case study about the existence of Santa Clause.

Now, this isn't an article about ruining Christmas or taking the fun out of modernized holidays, this is to take a deep look into a serious matter. Christmas was never suppose to be about cards, presents, lists of wants, and television specials. Hell, it wasn't even suppose to be a holiday about family.. It was a religious celebration that was intended to be the time to cherish and note the birth of Jesus Christ... Technically, this wasn't even his actually birthday, but that's besides the point. How the hell a devote holiday turned into a commercialized event is beyond me.

I'm not exactly a religious guy. I'm not saying that I won't one day have a particular faith towards something or that I am a dedicated atheist, but even from my view point, what we have made Christmas is beyond sacrilegious. I mean, yeah, screw it, if you aren't all about religion and you just want something to celebrate once a year, I get it... Just because you aren't a devote christian doesn't mean that you can't have a celebration (which wasn't the point anyways..,) but seriously, what are we really tying to teach our kids? It's bad enough when the Christians misconstrue the holiday from a day of warship into a day of eating ham and giving presents under a highly adorned tree, but as for the atheist parents out there, how the hell are you going to deny the existence of God and replace him with a fat man with a white beard who loves to eat milk and cookies? If you were to absolutely believe that there isn't a god and you taught your kids that belief, that's fine, but please, don't turn around and try to convince them in the following sentence there is really a guy climbing down chimneys delivering presents based around the behavior of the child throughout the year. It's in poor taste.

Consider the following lyric from the Christmas Song "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" :

"You better watch out, you better not cry
You better not pout, I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is comin' to town, gather around
He's making a list and checking it twice
He's gonna find out who's naughty and nice
Santa Claus is comin' to town
He sees you when you're sleepin'
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake"

If these aren't the most creepiest lyrics I've ever heard in my life, then I'll be damned! Its a song telling a story about someone who is keeping tabs on children and their behaviors through the year. He's watching them as they sleep and during the waking hours and keeping his finding on a ledger. It's exactly like a watered-down version of God for children to understand, but people will have the audacity suggest one is true while the other is not. It's completely in-congruent. Yeah, I'll say a bunch of shit I don't believe if I'm being a jackass. The biggest difference between that and this, however, is that I don't say it seriously. By saying that "you better be good or else Santa won't bring you gifts," is manipulation, not a fun game. This isn't poetry or a artistic story to make you think about life and your involvement in it, this is feeding your' kids a line of bullshit for your own satisfaction. It doesn't matter if it's to keep them from acting up, or if it's to make them believe in something greater in the world than what is apparent, there are so many ways to do that, that you should never feel the need to do it through deception.

I want my kids to know that they can trust me, and the best way I know I can achieve that, is by treating them like I would someone else... with respect and honesty. If I wasn't willing to try to convince someone of something that distracts them or is out right wrong, why would I do it to my own flesh and blood? Our kids look up to us for answers and help. When we tell them fairy tales in earnest and answer their questions by guessing when we don't really know, is it really a coincidence when they stop coming to us for help? Is it really a surprise when they question some of the things we say? Remember, when kids become teens and then become adults, they don't lose their memories. How you act to them while they are a child might not make sense to them at the time, but as they grow, things start becoming clearer to them and depending on how you acted while they were a child will affect how they look at you as an adult.

Now, To the Main Point

Not lying to your kids about how there is a Santa Clause, isn't going to ruin their childhood! If anything, it will do the opposite. When you allow them the opportunity to think for themselves and tell them that they have the power to make that decision, this will help them grow. I'm not going to feed them a bunch of garbage about holiday mythos, but if they wanted to believe in it on their own from the influences of their friends and plain old society, they are welcome to also come to that conclusion. I'm not going to strike down the hammer of what is real and what is not, because that is for them to decide, not me.

Christmas doesn't need to be about lies. We still damn well as adults go to our parents houses after the Santa delusion was broken and are able to have a good time, because it was never really about him in the first place, it was about communion and sharing. I imagine that for some, it's presents, but even then, you don't need to lie to give or receive them. There is plenty of joy that you can experience from these holidays without the need to stack crap on the pile. By allowing your child to make their own decisions on what is real or not gives them control over their life and helps with self-esteem. Don't worry about what everyone else is saying to them, they need to know that it's alright to hear different stories from different people. Don't worry about what other parents tell their children. They can do whatever the hell they want and you couldn't stop them if you tried. What you can do, however is help your child continue to grow with an open mind.

As a last note, I know that some people may be concerned about complications at school where other kids who do believe in Santa get into fights with those who don't (like a little baby turf war or something,) but that is yet one more opportunity rather than a problem. This teaches your child that it is alright to stand up for what you believe in even when their is resistance. It's not like you can prevent all the potential tension that could happen, but what you could do is act responsibly when faced with these problems.

Always think about the ultimate effects of your actions. Always use discernment based around principles rather than systems and emotions. This makes everything easier and better for you and everyone else :D.

Thanks For Reading! Take care!