Married with singles mentality

in #christianity6 years ago


Though not married but the bible has given us examples to follow and all that pertains to life… journey with me as we go through the topic together.

Being single means being free, wild, not needing anyone’s opinion before taking decisions but as a couple you are tamed, soaring hand in hand with someone, no longer take decisions alone, you are ready to share your life, feelings, emotions, finances, health and spirituality.


Anchor passage is from Amos 3:3

[3] Do two walk together except they make an appointment and have agreed?

It is to be totally naked and not be ashamed Gen 2:25. Marriages fail/suffer now a days due to wrong mindset of one or both of the couple involved one of this mentality is the “singles mentality”.

By my definition, “singles” mentality is a state of mind in which someone express a form of individuality in how they behave, take decisions, live, plan and are contented with it at the expense of their partner’s. This mindset place those involved at a perpetual receiving end rather than to be committed to their relationships by prefer and even demand that by ought to be pampered and to always be nurtured with every available resources, time and emotions while they won’t reciprocate same. In their world everything revolves around them and for them.

We should understand that we enter into the same life, bed, relationship and same task but from different perspective so let’s keep our selfishness aside n love our spouses and if you really want to last as couples you better touch that special place in their hearts.
This type of mentality expresses itself in different forms



  1. In movement; when you feel that it is not important for your spouse to know your movement. They want their spouse to be accountable to them to no one. Some even go to the extreme to monitor their spouses where about.

  2. Money; those having singles mentality want to spend their income as they please but make a duty to expend the other parties means of livelihood lavishly. It is imprinted on their mind to prevent their spouse from having money more than them it even extend money to anything that could add value to their partners in life am not imposing having joint account, you may not have joint account but have joint goals. Close mindedness. Another quality of a person who has singles mentality is not being open to your spouse. This people are eager to know their spouses lives intoto but are less expensive of theirs. This set of people thrives on secrecy in every way possible.

  3. Selfishness; some with singles mentality is a selfish person. In marriage those people are not difficult to spot. They want their demands to be met at the detriment of others. For example.
    •. A husband who wants to eat sumptuous meals without leaving money or release meager amount.
    •. A wife who wants to change her wardrobe always and look expensive irrespective of their income.
    •. Couples who demand for sex without minding their opinion or state of mind/bodies.
    •. One who can’t apologize but demand’s apology.


in addition spouses who are not ready to share their spirituality are having singles mentality. They see their spirituality as competition if you don’t carry your spouse along spiritually you are just giving the devil a foothold in your home. Eccl 4:11-12. It helps so much when couples have the same faith and philosophy of living, be of like mind, able to talk, listen, share similar values, walk together down the path in life share the same map, and same direction. It takes sex, love and God in common to make a marriage last through the years keep it in mind. Men are wrapped in hard muscles but benet that rugged exterior are the ingredients teddy bear are made of ready to be love and pampered. Women are wrapped in soft skin and less muscle mass that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a will of iron.


In conclusion, ephe 3:17-19 if you are handling your relationship from selfish part that you need to shape your emotions, share your spirituality, be careful how you hang around your single friends. Everyone wants to feel needed, show it to tour spouse. For both of you God is the wind beneath your wings, when he breaths upon you, you soar in the wind of his breath, he fuels you he motivates you and when face obstacles he will whisper encouragement in your ears.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
9: two are better than one, because they have a good [more satisfying] reward for their labor 10: for if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11: again, if two lie down together, then they have warmth; but how can one be warm alone? 12: and though a man might prevail against him who is alone, two will withstand him.
A threefold cord is not quickly broken


I am leaving you with this ponder on it God bless you.


If you treat your wife right you shouldn't have trouble getting sex.

Yes that's true.

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