Ah, Sunday celebration, sometimes when you keep going for communal church services you sometimes it can numb you to regularity and you sway towards clock in, clock out religious acts .

But today, today was slightly different for me.

I almost wanted to skip church today because I was feeling so meh the whole week but I knew I couldn't just stay at home that could have just gotten worse in isolation.

And it was also missions month emphasis for the church.

All was just quite the norm when the music and praise just started...

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
could have pushed me through, but it didn't...

Until this song came in that caught my attention.

This song that was written by Cory Asbury and published through Bethel Music caught my attention especially how it amplifies the Father's love in Christ Jesus

Before I took a breath, You breathed Your life in me

You have been so, so kind to me

Imagine when you were still in your mother's womb, you have not taken the first breath in this forsaking world (these days), your life was breathed into by the Creator of the universe.

I couldn't earn it, and I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah

Oh how ironic when we start to live in this world, let's face it; we did not grow up sinless.

• The little tiny bit if selfishness when you hope you can have more than others when the dish was your favourite.
• How you kind of twist your parents' arms when you tried to get things your way with pleading and maybe even threw a fit when it doesn't go your way when were so young that you could not even remember.
• How you hate or even jealous over some things / friend perhaps, over what you do not have.
• How you said a white lie just so you do not get yourself into trouble.
• How you start to judge what others should have known when you see injustice happens; as if you are better than the person(s) who made the offence...

yes, all these tiny faults that it seems normal, righteous even to your own justification; but they were not right in the eyes of the Holy God.

Tod White, a very lost but very found strong believer once said "if you want to get what you deserve, you deserve hell in the real judgement of God; but Christ came and first died for us so that we do not have to face it." (paraphrased)

No one man could earn their way to eternal peace.

Whether you like it or not.

When I was Your foe, still Your love fought for me

You have been so, so good to me

When I felt no worth, You paid it all for me
You have been so, so kind to me

How many out there who did not know Him, or even did, denied Him, could still walk on earth peacefully and (most of them) without harm while they continue to blaspheme the absence of the Love of God?

Yet you did not see any lightning strike down every time a person speak out of hatred of the existence of God.

And how many out there, especially those who literally went through hell , carried the burden of guilt and self-condemnation, and even attempted to commit suicide, realised that they could still breathe and open their eyes and have another chance to live, have a chance to find their way hometo a peace that surpasses all understanding, all because of the finished work of cross that was (heavily) pre-paid 2,000 years prior their birth?

Yes... Even when we felt that the world has abandon us who felt less worthy of others, the price was paid, for us

That was when I felt His love shouting out into my spirit, calming the storms in my head with His assurance

...I will never leave you, nor forsake you

(Deuteronomy 31:6b)

There's no wall You won't kick down

Lie You won't tear down
Coming after me

Oh how when we feel so unworthy, we walled up ourselves in order to protect ourselves being hurt from the world again, there's a reckless love of God will pursue you until your heart is made whole again.

That, is Agape (unconditional) love,

that up till now, the closest resemblance of a human's love towards another is the love of a parent who would do anything for his / her beloved child.

There's only One has fully exercised it without restrain.

Sometimes you don't need a huge bunch of list of songs to get you to re-tuned to goodness and positivity; sometimes it is just one song that speaks to your heart that would thoroughly shine through all the darkness that attempt to choke your life away.

At least, this song today, spoke to my heart.

I hope those who are struggling silently would find this song nourished for your aching soul, and know that when you think that no one in the world left who can understand you; there's One out of this world, can.

The youtube above has the lyrics. I hope its words brings you life.