Love & Marriage 65 - My spouse is an alcoholic/addict, Part 2

If you have not read the first post, please go have a look at it here:
https://steemit.com/christian-trail/@hope777/love-and-marriage-63-my-spouse-is-an-alcoholic-addict-part-1

Just a reminder that this comes out of the book of Dr. Stephen Schwambach, "Tough Talk to a stubborn spouse"

When you are married to an alcoholic/addict you may have to run, but please don't run all the way. Get as far away as you must in order for you to survive and to look after yourself - but I beg you don't strike the final blow. Do not toss your spouse the heavy anchor that will take him/her the rest of the way down to his inevitable destruction. Nobody will blame you if you leave but they also won't honor you. I am not asking you to jump off the dock in a futile attempt to save your drowning spouse; I know that his frantic flailing will only pull you under the water with him.

All I am begging you to do is to throw your spouse a life preserver. "I've already done that!" you want to scream. "I've done that a thousand times". Then do it ten thousand times more, Do it a million times more. If necessary do it till the day you die.
"till death do us part' that was the promise.

What you and your spouse need is a flat-out miracle and miracles are rare. I am here to tell you that if this miracle ever happens in the life of your spouse, it is most likely to happen through you. YOU are the KEY! It won't be easy, at times it would be unspeakably hard. Most of life is hard. You deserve the deepest sympathy, limitless compassion an all the support you can get.

Should you change tactics? Sure. Should you try a completely different approach? Quite likely. Should you find a way to enjoy life, in spite of the condition of your spouse? Absolutely. But should you quit? Never! "If I had just some hope" you cry. What if your spouse had terminal cancer due to his excessive smoking? or he/she was in an accident due to speeding and brain damaged for life and there was no hope. Would it then be ok, to divorce him/her?

If it is truly impossible to live with your spouse because of his/her addiction, then separate until things have sufficiently improved for you to return. Do everything in your power to get your spouse to accept competent professional help. Please don't desert your spouse when he/she has fallen as far as it is possible for a human being to fall. Work as long as it takes for the miracle of his restoration. Failing that, have the decency to wait for his/her death. If the situation is as intolerable as you say, that may not be far away. "Tough talk to a stubborn spouse" Dr. Stephen Schwambach

Please read tomorrow what Dr. Schwambach says how you can continue a normal life in the midst of this heartache you bear.

I know this post may seem extremely harsh and if you are in a situation like this or seen someone near you be in such a situation, and you may be thinking, this guy, Dr. Stephen Schwambach and this lady, hope777 does not know a thing. I just want to tell you that I was married to an alcoholic for almost 25 years, (we were together for 30) he died 3 months before our 25th anniversary. So I know how it is. So please come back to read Part 3 in a day or two.

Source: Dr. Stephen Schwambach, Tough Talk to a stubborn spouse, Harvest House Publishers
Images: dreamstime, pixabay

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