Love & Marriage 36 - The number 1 problem in marriages is communication
I continue on the topic of communication as research shows that lack of good and open communication is one of the biggest problems in marriages and that if this is not resolved will lead to divorce.
I came up with this quote: Talk is cheap but communicating is deep. To just talk is easy, but to communicate using words correctly and a willingness from husband and wife to communicate in ways that result in a deeper honesty and openness, that is not so easy.
Many people spend a lot of time to build masks behind which they want to hide their true self in fear of rejection. For men in particular deep and honest communication is very threatening as they are afraid to let their guard down. Husbands and wives must not be afraid to be honest with each other.
There are different levels of communication that you use in different circumstances.
The different levels are:
The fifth level of communication is small talk, where you share nothing of substance with the other person.
"Hello, how are you doing? Looks like rain. Have a nice day.”In Level-four conversation you just report the facts. You talk about what you know and nothing more. You expose nothing of yourself to the listener.
At level three, you start to share your opinions, your ideas and judgments about things. You come out of your shell a bit and reveal a little bit of yourself, but quickly retreat if you sense the slightest questioning or rejections, you quickly retreat.
Level two, emotional sharing, when you start to share how you feel. When you start communicating at this level you must be careful to not hurt your spouse, but many marriages are in such a need of this type of conversation that you must take the risk. A superficial marriage is one where you can't share your feelings with your spouse and in this marriage, there will be no growth, no problem solution.
Level one is the top level of communication, which is transparency. To be completely open and honest with your spouse, sharing the real you, from the heart. To communicate on this level requires a deep degree of trust, commitment, and friendship
This level of communication should be reserved for your spouse and perhaps a few others who are very close to you. Sharing too much of who you are can be dangerous for example if you communicate on this level with someone of the opposite sex it can lead to an affair.
When couples communicate at this level, they operate with oneness. One can kindly say to the other, “I think you’re angry. Is there something bothering you?” The other one can answer, "yes I am angry that this morning you made the remark that I don't do enough to help you." This opens up the problem and a discussion can be started to sort out the problem. This level of communication is not easy to reach, but it is worth the while. All of us long to be heard and understood and the best place for this to happen is in the safe space of a healthy marriage. This safe space can only be created and maintained by a couple that is really committed to one-another. Love is more than a feeling, it is a lifelong commitment. The Bible says in 1 John 4:18 that "Perfect love casts out fear."
I conclude with this: we should not hurt each other in our differences, we should use our words wisely to bring healing as stated in Proverbs 12:18 “There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing”
Images: freepik.com pixabay.com
Source: http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/staying-married/communication/the-number-one-problem-in-marriage
Thank you for reading, may you be richly blessed on this Sunday!
@hope777
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I think communication is the number one problem of the world, not just marriage! Thanks for the amazing post. Upvoted and resteemed...
Thank you so much @msg768 for the resteem and your kind comments, it is really appreciated!
grabs note book and writes, Talk is cheap but communicating is deep. by hope777
I never realize there were so many different levels of communication, but after you lay them out it makes a lot of sense. The way we communicate with friends, acquaintances, family all differ from the length of time you've known them. I love today's lessons, cannot wait for the next one :)
As I research I come upon all these interesting articles. Thank you for your support and encouragement!
I'm always impressed with people who do a lot of research and are able to concisely deliver messages well as you do. I hope one day that you collect all of these and write a book
Thank you, my dear friend!
You are welcome!
This is good stuff. Had no idea there were identified levels of communication. It makes sense but I had no idea. Thank you for this.
Thank you for your comment, as I said above I learn with everyone else as I research. We do communicate on all those levels without knowing it is identified as such.
these level of comunication is new to me. by being open to our partner could make the marriage stay longer. that what people told me. (still single my self 😂)
Thank you for following the blog as a single guy. You will be better prepared once you get married and not to make it last longer, to last till death do us part.
yes that is my plan, and i am going to do my best to keep it that way. 😃 thank you
So true. Most folks do not know how to communicate or they do no know how to interpret their partner's style of communication. Yet a third problem is folks are too distracted and busy to take the time. Sad. I have often said It was the number one concern. - Great post. - Troy
Thank you Troy, yes to give time is to give love.
My quote for this new week... Talk is cheap but communication is deep by hope777
I am not married but have been into a relationship before now. But i noticed that anytime there is bridge in communication, is either there is a problem or there is about to be a problem.
In one of my courses in business i was taught that communication is the life line of a business...
Hmm. If this is so marriage cant be without communication..
Thanks for this wonderful post..
Thank you for your comment @godswill. I really aprreciate your kind words!
You are welcome
Congratulations @hope777! You've been selected by Flatrider to receive a Sunday gift. You shall find 0.010 SBD in your account within 24 hrs. Have a lovely day! :-D
I feel blessed, thank you @flatrider!!
You are and you're welcome Hope! :-)
Eye opening. I discussed it with my wife and we decided where we fit in then had a chuckle together. We agree we're not perfect but are always able to communicate well with each other. Great post. Enjoyed.
Thank you, your comment makes me so happy. I am so glad that you communicate. I do a love and marriage post almost every day!
It's funny being introverted, yet fully grasping the importance of communication while most outgoing types putter around in small-talk-ville their entire lives.
Awesome post!
Thank you @oddnugget for your comment. I was actually thinking about that as personality type will definitely come into play in communication. I will do research on it keep on reading my future posts!
Cool, I'm following you!
Thank you. :-)