Teenager Woes
I don’t want to use this to talk about my frustrations with my kids. But that’s what I’m going to do, sort of.
My teenager right now is having a hissy fit because I have inconsistent parenting methods. I decided a few months ago to focus on discipline and decided for myself a few consequences to certain behaviours. I’ve let that fall through the cracks. I’ve learned a lot too.
What I did was say ok, if you disobey me you loose electronics. However, I sort of got myself stuck. What if they defy me but don’t disobey? What if they yell at me while obeying? What if they tell me that I am totally wrong and run to their room in tears? What if they have a hissy fit?
These things should be punishable…but I’m a softy and always have been…that is the problem. Plus I am not consistent. That is another problem.
Today I was strict about a school subject – she had to study outside of school hours and have her test sooner than she felt she should….big woop. If she was a public school student this would be the norm. Here is is the end of the world. This p’d her off. :) No, she didn’t say that. She really let me know how unfair I was in no uncertain terms though.
I calmly ignored her and told her that was the way it was going to be. Then told her to do her math. The whole time she was yelling at me. So I took her electronics away for 24 hours. Big woop…not even a big deal really since she really isn’t going anywhere or doing anything in this time period.
Totally unfair, Mom. Yes, I agree. I should be stern and mean ALL THE TIME, not just when I’ve had enough sleep and am on top of my game. I should be strict all the time, not just when they REALLY P me Off.
BUT – no child should EVER think that they are above their parents, that they don’t have to listen because it’s so unfair.
Maybe by the time I’m 50 I’ll be a great parent….a lot of good that will do anyone :)
BTW: She is still in her room. I wonder if she thinks hiding all day will get her out of school work. I made a list on our dry erase calendar so I won’t forget to make her do her school work. :) He, he, he…..
God’s way is the right way….in this situation I guess that means that even though I feel like poop for being such a lousy parent the fact remains that I am the parent not her.
Nice post @innavtsh
thank a lot!
Hang in there! My kiddos are under three so I haven’t had to deal with teenagers and their wild hormones.
My wife and I read the book called Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility by Foster Cline and Jim Fay.
The below paragraph is copied from the Amazon page for the book but it does an excellent job of summarizing the book. It’s awesome and I’d encourage you to check it out.
PRODUCT DESCRIPTION
This parenting book shows you how to raise self-confident, motivated children who are ready for the real world. Learn how to parent effectively while teaching your children responsibility and growing their character. Establish healthy control through easy-to-implement steps without anger, threats, nagging, or power struggles. Indexed for easy reference.
I know I said it already but hang in there. Kids are the best thing we have.
Teenagers are a difficult period. But it can be overcome with love in the heart. Thank you very much for the book, I will definitely read it!
I bet. My three year old is a hand full. Can’t image what it’s going to be like when she gets older.
No problem! It was by far one of my favorite reads.