Day 528 of my captivity, written by Chicken

Day 528 of my captivity. The 2 legged thing that serves me my food and water, laid hands upon my self again last night. To my horror and shame, it trimmed one of my beautiful arms back to a stubble, adorned me with green jewelry and powdered my bum. Apparently, they found my secret release weapon out of the prison grounds. So I am forced to stand forlornly, gazing upon the greener pastures I once visited with impunity, under the watchful eye of the warden, who objected to my effecting self release, but was powerless to do anything about it. My life, has come crashing down around my ears, I am forced to mix with the bedraggled hordes, eating from the common trough, and drinking from the white jug of yuck. After all, one doesn't simply drink from fresh water sources, NO NO NO. One must drink from the dirtiest, most bouquet laden, poop rich waters, without fear of probiotics and vitamins that are good for one. I will continue to languish, here in my prison, until the day I regrow my stubble, and once again soar the skies like a great ground tub o' lard that I am. Signed, Yours Truly, Chicken.