Every Man for himself. The way I see society, this phrase fits the best. I am not kidding, but I think in this day the education system also focuses on the idea of every individual acting alone and making his/her way. But I am happy to say that, like every other theory or idea, this too had exceptions.

Hello everyone,
I am @inuke and I just got back from work. It's one of the most brilliant excuses that I had been giving to friends and family. And I am going to use the same excuse for my absence for the last 2 weeks. Man!!! December is going fast. But frankly speaking, the work makes me work a little more. I hate to admit, but I think I am becoming a workaholic. (Which is not a good thing). I like my Sundays, on the bed and telling everyone why I need rest. Mostly nursing hangover from the previous night. What I am trying to say is I don't like going out on Sundays for the past few weeks. But Last Sunday was different I was actually looking forward to it. Reason being meeting the friends that I made at Sushaanti Seva and doing something that is less selfish.

That is right, Less selfish. I wanted to use the term selfless. But my agenda towards this noble cause is a Little different. To understand that you need to learn a few things about me. I always wanted to help the helpless. But this wouldn't be the first time that an opportunity presented itself. A couple of years back, I had a similar chance to do something good for society. I was working as an executive, routine 9-6 job and was living my life as a happy hypocrite. I was staying in an apartment with my friends. You might recall this location from my story [This ain't a movie review]. There was an orphanage right next to the apartment. The view from the balcony was amazing. You get to see the straight road till the end of the road, houses, trees, and garden on both the sides. To the left of the apartment was the orphanage and to the right was the entire world. I had walk across the gate thousands of times but never had stepped in. I wanted to go inside, but there is also the thought that what difference would it make. And like that 2 years have passed but I never stepped in to see the other side of the world. In the office, there were events when I'd receive a mail communication from the HR stating that donation for so and so charity function as well. I would pull out the wallet and drop some money in the pool. Thinking that I have done my part. But ever since my visit to the community service last month the thought of 'why I never visited that orphanage?' started bothering me. And the most frustrating part of that is I still haven't found the answer. So this visit was all about the answers. To shake that feeling off.

With that in my mind, I started off to the event this Sunday. And reach the decided site way ahead of time. It was an event organized by the Ayyappa seva sangham (A religious function). The prayers were yet to be started. And I was again at a place where I had time to discuss some personal issues with god. To again go into the uncharted (At least for me) territory of religion. And luckily, I heard the voice of an old man. He said something in Tamil with a little commanding voice. As if asking why am I standing idle and not doing anything. Then he pointed to the stack of some 100 plastic chairs. I stood there like an Idiot without moving an inch. The old man again said something to me in Tamil and went to the stack pick a chair and dragged that to the hall where already a row of the chair was arranged. I understood, That If I stand there and do nothing, There is a tiny chance that I may get into some unnecessary conversations. So I started arranging the chair. The Old man smiled and went on talking to me. And after what seemed like a good 15 rounds back and forth to the stack we made seating arrangement for 100 peoples. I took one chair for myself and went back to observing peoples. Peoples who were busy chanting prayers and another set of people working hard in the Kitchen. I noticed that there were 50 or so peoples on the stage pick off petals from the flowers. And few were doing the same activity sitting on the chairs that I laid out. They were collecting petals in papers. I saw slowly the heap of petal was growing bigger as a lady started pooling the petals. Within a few minutes a lady approached and said something in Tamil (By this time, I really wanted to understand what she was saying), I nodded without understanding a single word. She gave me some 100 or so flowers and a piece of paper. I deduced that I should be plucking the petals off, in order to help them. So I started doing what the others had been doing. The chants were still going on and now there is another one person who is plucking petal off.

Soon I realized that there is more to this, I noticed that they stop pluck petals if the chanting of mantra stops. And continue when the mantras start again. Now I had suspicion on what I was doing and what I agreed for. And there was a person with a small kid next to me. I was about to ask him when he guided the kid only to pluck the petals when the mantras were going on. Now I understood what I agreed for. I was taking part in prayer without me knowing it. Nice!!! I continued and I finished.

It was around 1040 when I saw familiar faces. Shiva was there talking to the lead or the Ayyappa Seva Sangham. I felt relief knowing that I was at the right place. There was @bala, Karitika, Akshaya, Lakshmi, Eswaran and many others with a couple of new faces. (At least for me). And again the same environment is set as the previous event. Funny talks, silly jokes, and lighthearted conversations. I found myself in my comfort zone.

This time there was no chopping or grating or slicing. Although, I was mentally prepared and would have taken on the challenge of the grating coconuts. But everything was already done by the Ayyappa Seva Sangham and we were waiting as the Pooja ceremony continued. The wait was longer than expected, But it got over just like that. Shiva had arranged for the vehicles to deliver the food to the designated locations. (4 Sites). They needed volunteers in each vehicle, So I volunteered and Lakshmi got stuck with me. And within 15 min we were at the site. Nanmangalam. But all thanks to the roads conditions it felt like hours.

We got the food to the dining hall and started making the arrangements. Kritika started the prayer and everybody followed. And the Lunch was commenced. This would be the first time that I am serving to people that I don't know. I imagined that this would be awkward. But I wasn't. It was easy. You just ask the person if they want any more of the food item and they will reply with yes or no. And you serve or don't base on their response to your question. I recognized an older woman, I had interacted with her for a very brief time last month. When I reached to her she smiled and said 'Andaman'. She remembered, The old lady remembered. I served her with a smile, while my brain was stormed with emotions. I finished the round and stepped outside for doing what I do best, getting drifted in thoughts. And within few minutes rest of the gang stepped out and that much needed small and funny talks began.

Soon the event was concluded with a small meeting, We get to express our thoughts and feeling. The challenges were addressed and the concerns were brought forward. During the meeting, Gayatri who returned to the place after 13 years started sharing her experience. I saw the emotions and tears that she fought to hold back while talking. I don't know what it was but something made the lady teary. Thanks to lighthearted people around the moment were again all good. And the day perfectly ended for me. Even though it was 1600hrs I didn't do much for the rest of the day.

I got to know peoples a little better. (They are amazing peoples and each of them deserves a post on how they feel and what drives them).

I am

The question with which I started the day, didn't get answered. But I am glad, that I went looking for the answer. And hopefully, someday I will find it. Till then there is nothing wrong in doing something 'less selfish'

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