I could go all day discussing my goals in life but here is the best goal I have achieved which give me self improvement.

Ever since childhood (round about 12 years old if I am not mistaken) I already have this feeling of being unloved, having anxieties, low self-esteem, having difficulties trusting people, loneliness, a feeling of being alone and all the negativity combined. I shrug it off at first, but little did I know it evolved into something else. In the morning I am all smiles and even crack jokes to people at school. But at the moment I am home, I lock myself in my room. My nights are composed of crying. It got worse as time goes by; ending my life has been always so tempting and pain was an addiction.

I remember when I was in highschool, I attempted to jump from the highest floor of our school building. But it seems like God doesn't want me to die. Everyday I try hard to look for my purpose and wondering why I am still alive. Everyday is a wish to find bliss, but no matter how hard I try my brain is not cooperating. I suffered severe depression and it has been a tough journey. My goal is to eliminate the addiction to pain and the temptation to kill myself.

I seek help and I was given a medicine. I also went through series of therapy. I couldn't afford to continue it without my parents help but I don't want to tell them what I am going through, afraid to be a burden to anyone, so I have to stop. But one day I was introduced into a community, a church, and did not know that I can have an inexpensive therapy. I got engaged at church and it made me feel better. Though there were still attacks but it lessen.

I found a way to divert my thoughts and I found God. Little by little I found myself opening up to people, my parents and siblings. I also used my skills in music and singing as a medium. God and the people he placed in my life isnthe answer for me to achieve my goal.

It has been 13 painful years and here I am still breathing. I no longer have thoughts of death and everyday is treated as a gift of hope. That is one of the best goals I have achieved which caused me self improvement.

The battle scars on my skin is a reminder of how I survived. I feel so accomplished and driven to pass on my story and how I got well to the people who is going through the same illness or any struggles like I had. I felt as if I found my purpose through it. It is difficult to recall, but in my mission to be a beacon of hope to others, I would be more than glad to share it, in the hope of reaching those who have broken souls too. Who knows, I might help them with their goals too.