Confidence and Fear, A Contradictory Harmony... CCC
My name is Olu-Kay, I'm called Sladen or simply Kay by most of my close acquaintances. This article is an attempt to explain two contradictory ideas/feelings that simultaneously runs in/within my mind at literally every point in time.
Okay, let me begin by saying that most people who know me would attest to the fact that I'm one of the most confident people around. I usually exert an aura of confidence, even in the face of serious problematic situations, infact especially in the face of serious issues. This is no surprise to me though, and those closest to me know why. Right from when I was a little teenager, I have had this firm belief that I am the luckiest man alive. I do not know or remember how this belief came to be rooted in my mind, but as far back as I can consciously remember, it seems that I've always had this belief.
I could have missed a test, or I could be on the waiting list for an important event, still I always told whoever worried enough to ask me how I felt about it that I was certain my case would be okay. The best part? I always came out trumps! Never had I been in a questionable situation and ended up at the losing side. I had issues in high school, up till my penultimate year, and still managed to somehow graduate in time as one of the very best students. In the University, I had multiple financial issues, but every single time, some (lacking a better word) "miracle" seemed to occur and pull me clear, and I still managed to make a first class. When I left school, as a matter of fact, during my final year project defence, I was called and offered a job: straight out of my defence room to a paying job.... Imagine that!
Anyways, before I talk too much about my confidence, let me bring up the contradictory feeling that usually accompanies it... This opposite feeling is fear and worry. Strange right? But the truth is I am always confident "only when there is something to worry about or be scared of". If I'm having an issue, I'm confident. But whenever everything seems totally perfect, and no situation is giving me goosebumps, then that's when my confidence dwindles. It's funny to me at times, I am confident because I'm afraid, what kind of a contradiction am I?
But then, i tell myself its a positive. Why? Simple: when confidence is most needed, that is, in the event of a problem situation, i am confident. And when it isn't needed, that is, in a perfect period, it goes into hibernation. So who's to say I'm at a disadvantage? My contradiction works for me afterall.
Thanks for reading.
Written for @indigoocean's curious contradictions contest. See link below...
https://steemit.com/contest/@indigoocean/curious-contradictions-contest-10-sbd-in-prizes
That was a fascinating read. I would say that you've mastered the law of attraction when you decide to allow it to work for you because the situation is out of your hands. But you block it when you think you should be able to do it on your own.
Wow this is an amazing read indeed. Wish I had that much of confidence. I think I only have half of it based on what you shared. Haha.
Confidence can always be built. Its never too late to believe, cheers!
Thanks!