Unraveled 2: When the Fabric of "Reality" Rips to Shreds: Part One — by Hugh Mungus

HANDJOBS AND SANDPAPER

"What else is troubling me?

Mickey Mouse’s birthday being announced on the television news as if it’s an actual event. I don’t give a shit! If I cared about Mickey Mouse’s birthday, I’d have memorized it years ago, and I’d send him a card.

'Dear Mickey, Happy birthday. Love, George.'

I don’t do that. Why? Don’t give a shit. Fuck Mickey Mouse. Fuck him in the asshole with a big, rubber dick. Then break it off and beat him with the rest of it.

I hope Mickey dies. I do. I hope he goddamned dies. I hope he gets a hold of some tainted cheese, and dies lonely and forgotten behind the baseboard of a soiled bathroom in a poor neighborhood, with his hand in Goofy’s pants.

Mickey Mouse. No wonder no one in the world takes our country seriously. We waste valuable television time informing our citizens of the age of an imaginary rodent!"

― George Carlin *

• George Carlin:

The truth is harder to come by than a handjob administered with sandpaper gloves.

Read? Gimme a break. Read facts?! No fucking way!

Trash that Melatonin, Restoril and Valerian Root! Enroll in a high school history course. It's a guaranteed remedy for insomnia.

We all know textbooks are as dry and unsavory as the sex life of a morbidly obese centenarian with a raging case of Herpes Simplex 10.

For your sake, I’ll make this introduction the perfect porn actress — short and sweet.

Most of humanity — the author included — views Hitler as a monster. To Eva Braun and a handful of Nazi officers, though, ol' Adolf was just another fun-lovin' dude, on the trail of a hot meal and a decent piece of ass.

Point being, although the facts within this blog are true, what you do with them is your business. All topics herein have been meticulously researched, and ample resources provided by which you can conduct your own investigations.

What follows is the result of thousands of E-mails — carefully crafted and sent to all three of the author’s friends. Since my head is thicker than the blast doors at Cheyenne Mountain, it only took me five years to realize my Internet acquaintances could give a rat’s ass whether or not their own government had dropped live nuclear bombs on them.

My numerous Facebook postings concerning an asteroid the size of the Rose Bowl hurtling toward Earth, were overshadowed by online pals diligently attempting to determine which Michael Jackson song best represented their personality. I chuckle at it now, even though it remains quite disturbing.

Let's be honest. The majority of people are oblivious when it comes to the truth. Moreover, most individuals will claw tooth and nail to remain so.

Unraveled 2 takes a different path.

Things aren't what you've been led to believe. I’m hopeful you'll question all you're told, including the information herein. Via questioning comes research. Through research comes knowledge.

I’m not lookin' to overturn the proverbial apple cart with this blog, but if the fruit's rotten, I ain’t eatin’ any more pies made from it.

Feel free to hang on to that high school history text, though. You never know when you'll run out of kindling, and need to start a decent fire.

ABRAHAM LINCOLN: RACIST

"Every magic trick consists of three parts, or acts.

The first part is called the Pledge. The magician shows you something ordinary.

The second act is called the Turn. The magician takes the ordinary something, and makes it into something extraordinary. But you wouldn’t clap yet, because making something disappear isn’t enough. You have to bring it back.

Now you’re looking for the secret, but you won’t find it because, of course, you’re not really looking. You don’t really want to work it out. You want to be…fooled."

― The Prestige *

• The Prestige:

"I will say then that I am not, nor ever have been in favor of bringing about in any way the social and political equality of the white and black races, [applause] — that I am not nor ever have been in favor of making voters or jurors of negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with white people; and I will say in addition to this that there is a physical difference between the white and black races which I believe will for ever [sic] forbid the two races living together on terms of social and political equality. And inasmuch as they cannot so live, while they do remain together there must be the position of superior and inferior, and I as much as any other man am in favor of having the superior position assigned to the white race."

— Abraham Lincoln, former President of the United States

These politicians love their run-on sentences, don't they? Must get paid by the word.

Yes, this is an actual quote spoken by Abraham Lincoln. It was delivered during the Lincoln-Douglas Debates of 1858 — an Illinois senatorial polemic with Democratic Party nominee Stephen A. Douglas.

During these verbal battles, the two combatants argued primarily over the subject of slavery. Douglas appeared immovable in his belief of popular sovereignty, which would allow the individual states to determine for themselves whether or not they endorsed subjugation. Lincoln seemed opposed to the expansion of slavery, but made numerous contradictory remarks when politically appropriate.

So, the above quote was uttered by the man who, in 1861, would be inaugurated as the official 16th President of the United States.

The word racism is defined by thefreedictionary.com as: "the belief that race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to others." *

• Racism:

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/racism

Merriam-Webster's online lexicon denotes racism as: "a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race." **

** Racism [2]:

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/racism

Dictionary.com asserts racism is: "a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human racial groups determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to dominate others or that a particular racial group is inferior to the others." ***

*** Racism [3]:

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/racism?s=t

Via Lincoln's above quote, it seems the 16th President of the U.S. was the epitome of what these reference sources define as a racist. Even more bizarre is the fact that Lincoln is often referred to as the best Commander-in-Chief in United States history. Check out online listings of Top Ten U.S. Presidents. Lincoln consistently ranks in the top three — most often first. ****

**** Historical rankings of Presidents of the United States:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historical_rankings_of_Presidents_of_the_United_States

If Abraham Lincoln was a racist, and he's heralded as the best President of the United States ever, what were the attributes of the worst? A predilection for cannibalism? A penchant for serial killing? A desire to expose oneself in front of nursing homes, while driving black cars on Sunday in Denver, Colorado?

When you consider Lincoln's face has been immortalized on Mount Rushmore, as well as the U.S. penny and five dollar bill, the possibility of Abe being a racist enters the domain of the surreal. There are those who claim the societal norm in the 19th century was to be a supremacist. I don't dispute your assertion. I’m solely underscoring the fact that high school history books portray President Abraham Lincoln as a Commander-in-Chief determined to create equality between all races.

In addition, just because everyone else is an asshole, does that make it right to follow suit?

Perhaps a few more of Lincoln's quotes will shed light upon his beliefs regarding bigotry.

"I have no purpose, directly or indirectly, to interfere with the institution of slavery in the states where it exists. I believe I have no lawful right to do so, and I have no inclination to do so."

— Abraham Lincoln, the Lincoln-Douglas Debates, 1858

"I will add to this that I have never seen to my knowledge a man, woman or child who was in favor of producing a perfect equality, social and political, between negroes and white men."

— Abraham Lincoln, the Lincoln-Douglas Debates, 1858

"My paramount object in this struggle [the American Civil War] is to save the Union, and is not either to save or to destroy slavery. If I could save the Union without freeing any slave, I would do it, and if I could save it by freeing all the slaves I would do it; and if I could save it by freeing some and leaving others alone I would also do that.

What I do about slavery, and the colored race, I do because I believe it helps to save the Union..."

— President Abraham Lincoln, in a letter to Horace Greeley, August 22, 1862

You can uncover most of that last one at the Lincoln Memorial, itself. Bizarre, huh? Well, George Lopez is famous, and Mark Wahlberg has a third nipple, so perhaps bizarre is subjective, these days.

"Judge Douglas has said to you that he has not been able to get from me an answer to the question whether I am in favor of negro citizenship. So far as I know, the Judge never asked me the question before. He shall have no occasion to ever ask it again, for I tell him very frankly that I am not in favor of negro citizenship."

— Abraham Lincoln, the Lincoln-Douglas Debates, 1858

"Now my opinion is that the different States have the power to make a negro a citizen under the Constitution of the United States if they choose. The Dred Scott decision decides that they have not that power. If the State of Illinois had that power I should be opposed to the exercise of it."

— Abraham Lincoln, the Lincoln-Douglas Debates, 1858

Upon inauguration as president, one of Lincoln's initial acts was the attempted passing of the Corwin Amendment. Had partial secession of the South not already occurred, this legislation would have prohibited the federal government from tampering with slavery in any state.

Add the fact that Abe was one of the leaders of the Illinois Colonization Society — an organization determined to remove free blacks from the Prairie State — and Lincoln's love for all races becomes no more than the same ol' propaganda we're forced-fed in school.

However, Abraham Lincoln was also cited as stating:

"When I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally."

But Honest Abe was also known to quote the Bible when it suited his motives, even though he never joined a church, didn't formally belong to any religion and purportedly wrote an essay denouncing Christianity.

Let's just say if some obvious racist in a stove pipe hat drove down the streets of South Central today, promulgating the above quotes, he wouldn't be elected president. In fact, he'd probably be shot.

Sources:

Books:

DiLorenzo, Thomas, J.; Morris, Joseph A. (2008). Abraham Lincoln: Friend or Foe of American Freedom?. The Heartland Institute. ISBN: 1934791059

DiLorenzo, Thomas, J. (2006). Lincoln Unmasked: What You're Not Supposed to Know About Dishonest Abe. Three Rivers Press. ISBN: 0307338428

Lincoln, Abraham; Douglas, Stephen, A. (1858, 1958, 1991). The Complete Lincoln-Douglas Debates of 1858. University of Chicago Press. ISBN: 0226020843

Online Movies:

Q & A: Thomas J. DiLorenzo:

Online Sources:

American Colonization Society:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Colonization_Society

Colonization Societies:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colonization_Societies

Corwin Amendment:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corwin_Amendment

Lincoln-Douglas Debates of 1858:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lincoln%E2%80%93Douglas_debates_of_1858

Lysander Spooner:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lysander_Spooner

GOD COMMANDS US TO MURDER, RAPE AND STEAL

"All the words on the wall

Look the same in the mirror

Every riddle and every clue.

You’ve got Allah in the east

You’ve got Jesus in the west

Christ, what’s a man to do?

They’ll find a cure for anything

Just kill the pain, or numb my brain

We see a man speakin’ the word of God

Proven to be a fraud

His own church applauds

Stop lookin’ out, start lookin’ in

Be your own best friend"

― Van Halen *

• Van Halen:

Should you profess to be Jewish, Anglican, Orthodox or Reformed Christian, you probably know the Sixth Commandment states "Thou shall not murder." Even so, the God of the Old Testament not only condones killing, but demands it. Although this assertion sounds more ridiculous than the possibility of Danny DeVito winning the NBA Slam Dunk Contest, the following quotes can be found in the prior dogmatic doctrine.

— Think You're Bad Enough to Take On Dad? Think Again —

Good news, parents! You've got a friend in the Lord!

"Anyone who attacks his father or his mother must be put to death."

— Exodus 21:15

— Don't Call Mom and Dad @$$#*!%$ —

"Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death."

— Exodus 21:16

Every parent's favorite book of the Old Testament? Exodus.

— Lance Bass, Runnin' Scared —

"If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads."

— Leviticus 20:13

Ah, yes. The origins of homophobia. Vegas odds says whomever coined this one was a closet homosexual.

— Kill Nonbelievers —

"They entered into a covenant to seek the Lord, the God of their fathers, with all their heart and soul. All who would not seek the Lord, the God of Israel, were to be put to death, whether small or great, man or woman."

— 2 Chronicles 15:12–13

So, he’s omnipotent, but he’s jealous? Opening an ice hockey store in the Sahara Desert makes more sense.

— The Ultimate Wedding Present: Killing the Bride —

"If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the girl's virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father's house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done a disgraceful thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father's house. You must purge the evil from among you."

— Deuteronomy 22:20–21

Wouldn't these dudes with the rocks face the death penalty, nowadays?

— Slaughter an Entire Town For Worshiping Another God —

"If you hear it is said about one of the towns the Lord your God is giving you to live in that wicked men have arisen among you and have led the people of their town astray, saying, 'Let us go and worship other gods' [gods you have not known], then you must inquire, probe and investigate it thoroughly. And if it is true and it has been proved that this detestable thing has been done among you, you must certainly put to the sword all who live in that town. Destroy it completely, both its people and its livestock."

— Deuteronomy 13:12–15

More dead than The Chevy Chase Show, baby!

— Slain For Enslaving Oneself on the Sabbath —

"Observe the Sabbath, because it is holy to you. Anyone who desecrates it must be put to death; whoever does any work on that day must be cut off from his people. For six days, work is to be done, but the seventh day is a Sabbath of rest, holy to the Lord. Whoever does any work on the Sabbath, must be put to death."

— Exodus 32:14–15

Imagine some poor Jewish guy wakin' up late after a night of binge drinking. He's not certain what day it is. He races to work, figurin' he's gonna get fired.

Upon arriving, he's surprised to discover the office deserted. Deducing everybody must be at lunch, he's certain he can pull out of this kamikaze nosedive if he shows initiative.

Three hundred cold calls and 85 TPS reports later, the realization sucker punches him like the fist of a 400 pound, dirty boxer. It's Saturday!

— Rape and Infanticide, Anyone? —

"Whoever is captured […] will fall by the sword. Their infants will be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses will be looted and their wives ravished. See, I will stir up against them the Medes [an ancient culture of Iranian peoples], who do not care for silver and have no delight in gold. Their bows will strike down the young men; they will have no mercy on infants nor will they look with compassion on children."

— Isaiah 13:15–18

The Child Welfare League of America may have a little something to say about this one.

— Mass Murder: It's Not Just For Governments Anymore —

"This is what the Lord Almighty says: '[…] Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy everything that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.' "

— Samuel 15:2–3

Nobody wants to work as a toilet bowl cleaner in a laxative testing facility, but on this particular day, I’d have taken that gig over bein' an Amalekite.

— A Hot Piece of Ass —

"If a priest's daughter defiles herself by becoming a prostitute, she disgraces her father; she must be burned in the fire."

— Leviticus 21:9

We may not know who authored the Old Testament, but Leviticus was written by a dude.

— Fun-Lovin' Folks Forced to Kill —

"A curse on him who is lax in doing the Lord's work! A curse on him who keeps his sword from bloodshed!"

— Jeremiah 48:10

You collect swords; you've got 10,000 pieces in your assemblage; you're also a devout Jew who takes the Old Testament literally. You can do the math here.

— Jews Kick Butt! —

"When the trumpets sounded, the people shouted, and at the sound of the trumpet, when the people gave a loud shout, the wall collapsed; so every man charged straight in, and they took the city. They [Israelites; a.k.a. Jews] devoted the city to the Lord and destroyed with the sword every living thing in it, men and women, young and old, cattle, sheep and donkeys."

— Joshua 6:20–21

Donkeys were apparently thirsty for human blood at one point, and a serious threat to us all.

— Babylon Sucks! —

" 'Attack the land of Merathaim (Babylon) and those who live in Pekod. Pursue, kill and completely destroy them,' " declares the Lord."

— Jeremiah 50:21

Anybody who lives in a town called Pekod — and refers to him, or herself, as a Pekodite — is begging for a substantial ass kicking.

— We're Tired of Killing; When Do We Get to Rape? —

"When you march up to attack a city, make its people an offer of peace. If they accept and open their gates, all the people in it shall be subject to forced labor and shall work for you. If they refuse to make peace and they engage you in battle, lay siege to that city. When the Lord your God delivers it into your hand, put to the sword all the men in it.

As for the women, the children, the livestock and everything else in the city, you may take these as plunder for yourselves. And you may use the plunder the Lord your God gives you from your enemies. This is how you are to treat all the cities that are at a distance from you and do not belong to the nations nearby."

— Deuteronomy 20:10–15

Can't we just beat up some more donkeys?

— What Rape Victim Wouldn't Want to Marry Her Attacker? —

"If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay the girl's father fifty sheckels [sic] of silver. He must marry the girl [and] can never divorce her as long as he lives. —

— Deuteronomy 22:28–29

Last I knew, a shekel was more worthless than a soft drink at the late Dean Martin's house. Dad's really receiving the shaft on this one.

— Shit, Am I Glad This Isn't a Law —

"If a man is found sleeping with another man's wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die."

— Deuteronomy 22:22

Three-quarters of humanity would be dead if this decree were ever enforced.

— The Big Three: Polygamy, Rape and Baby Killing —

"This is what the Lord says: 'Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity upon you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will lie with your wives in broad daylight. You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.'

Then David said to Nathan, 'I have sinned against the Lord.'

Nathan replied, 'The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. But because by doing this you have made the enemies of the Lord show utter contempt, the son born to you will die.' "

— 2 Samuel 12:11–14

Little did God know, Dave never wanted the kid, anyway, and the condom broke.

Do people read their Bibles? If so, how do they justify sendin' their kids to Sunday school or synagogues to learn that God demands they kill, rape and steal? The concept is incongruous.

Sources:

Books:

Life Application Study Bible: "NIV" New International Version. (1984). Tyndale House Publishers and Zondervan, Inc. ISBN: 0310941466

Online Sources:

Murder in the Bible:

http://www.evilbible.com/evil-bible-home-page/murder-in-the-bible/

Rape in the Bible:

http://www.evilbible.com/evil-bible-home-page/rape-in-the-bible/

The preceding blog was written by Hugh Mungus. Feel free to contact the author directly here on Steemit, or via his personal E-mail address: [email protected]