Do You Have A Hungry Heart And An Even Hungrier Soul?

There are people in the world with real emotions, and while no one wants to talk about those real feelings, there are a lot of people in pain because of what little this world is willing to do about sharing that grief and get through the pain.  

Are you in pain?  Are you getting paid?  Are you being treated right by the system where you are able to reach out for help and get that help, or are you like me fighting tooth and nail for services that you should be able to get and getting turned away?

I think there is something God awful going on in America right now, and it's all happening right under our noses.  It's as if people are awake and aware of the extenuating circumstances that we're all facing to some level or another - and we're being force-made to not care about it, or to ignore it like there is nothing we can do together about it.  I don't buy that.  I believe people are worth more then what they are getting as far as the services go and as far as the characters of the people go who give us these services.  They go on vacation whenever they want to and will wait to hit the enter key on purpose so that you aren't able to reach the services that you need.

As far as that's concerned I believe people should be able to call for help, and get some real help.  At least get the character of help back where people try to care - but these days people are being denied that kind of quality in their "care."  The care givers are more like care-takers, and the outlets we used to have where people would concern themselves with what is going on are diminishing right along with our rights and our abilities to pursue the kind of lives we want.  It's as if this world is willing to sell you dreams, but you aren't so much as legally allowed to go after those dreams.  We're all being scammed - and it sucks!  In truth - it all hurts!

I have a hungry heart, and an even hungrier soul.  I'm not being treated fairly and I know I'm not.  I know that this world has become devoid of such love where we can express our concerns without fear that we aren't going to be treated fairly by the character of their worldly "care."  

Care, as defined by http://www.thefreedictionary.com/care states it is a noun.   

"1. a.  A  concerned  or  troubled state  of  mind,  as  that arising from serious responsibility; worry.
b.  An  object  or  source  of  worry, attention,  or  solicitude: the many cares of a working parent.
c.  Interest, regard,  or  liking: did not show the least care for her.
2. a.  Close attention,  as  in  doing something well  or  avoiding harm: painted the trim with care.
b.  Upkeep; maintenance: a product for the care of fine floors; hair care products.
c.  Watchful oversight; charge  or  supervision: left the child in the care of a neighbor.
3.  Attentive assistance  or  treatment  to  those  in  need: a hospital that provides emergency care.

v. cared, car·ing, cares 

v.intr.1.  To  be  concerned  or  interested: Once inside, we didn't care whether it rained or not.
2.  To  provide needed assistance  or  watchful supervision: cared for the wounded; caring for an aged relative at home.
3.  To  object  or  mind: If no one cares, I'll smoke now.
4. a.  To  have  a  liking  or  attachment: I didn't care for the movie.
b.  To  have  a  wish;  be  inclined: Would you care for another helping?

v.tr.1.  To  wish; desire: Would you care to dance?
2.  To  be  concerned  to  the degree of: I don't care a bit what critics think."

And that's a fact!  I didn't care a bit what critics think.  People are too critical where they could be so much more.  People everywhere want to blame the Christians, or the Jews or the Muslims, when I don't think it has to deal with a sect of religion or belief, but how we as people are just so absurd!  Can we care about each other - just under the circumstance that we are the only humanity that we have?  Can we share our world in a way where we can do more beautiful things in life and make some positive change in the world?  I don't see that we can even do that these days and it's not because there aren't countless millions of people trying to pursue their goals and conquer their dreams but that there are people who are in fact hurting us in our attempt at getting to do the things that are hearts desire, and get to do these things with all our hearts.  I'm not even sure the best and most loving couple gets to experience things where they could - simply because this whole world isn't allowing people to reach through their hearts into their world and find something better, or create that better thing.  I know there are a lot of people trying, but where we are trying to get those things, we are also being sabotaged from getting those things because this world sucks and will suck the life up out of you if you're not careful.  And, even when you are super careful about it - your dreams aren't so much as available for you while you dream of them because most of those dreams are to use your hearts in a way where your world isn't allowing your hearts to ever sing!

I took this picture because it looked like a fractured heart, and a crumbled up heart that was stuck on the glass by someone.  I wanted to share to people that the little thing matter more then people think.  The tiniest thing can change the course of your life forever.  My hope was to make those hearts more fierce then they were before.  And, I'm doing just that!  I know I'm reaching some people where they agree.  And, I know that I'm inspiring someone to be more, to do more, or to keep a dream they long forgot.  Either way, I know there is more in store for us where we are willing to find our hearts as in the Bible where your hearts are - there you will find your treasure as well.

If I hadn't stopped rollerblading on - this picture wouldn't have been taken.  I took it with my phone camera and it's a crappy phone truthfully.  It has all that meta data in it where I'm being tracked and things like that - and it's not to help me and make sure that I can fulfill my hearts desire, but it's to hurt me in my attempt at loving you.

I knew I needed someone to unconditionally love me where I was left at in life.  Sometimes, I just wanted to be held and told that everything was going to be alright - even if it wasn't going to be.  Sometimes, I just wanted to hold someone and tell them that everything was going to be alright - even if they didn't believe me for the same reasons that I don't.  But, I knew everything was going to pan out one way or another.  I knew the love of my father who art in heaven.  I felt it in my chest, and I asked for it.  I asked and I believed the same way that I was told to believe, but even the "believers" didn't see it was possible for God to come walk a mile in my shoes.  It's as if we're supposed to act a certain way - but when we do, it's not ever recognized for what could be truly happening.

God is good.  God is love.  God is the only thing that I believe people needed, but God was the one King that was abandoned and ignored.  God was!  So, don't look at me for answers because I'm not Him.  I only feel him in my heart, and see him in every one of you - even those that don't see themselves as beautiful, are more beautiful then they could have ever imagined.  And, you are!

You're more beautiful because you're broken, and you're real.  You're more beautiful because you've had so much thrown your way that the pain makes you real, the heart-ache and hardships make you real, and the heart you hold to be truest to you makes you unbelievably beautiful.  That's why so many people are having a hard time in life though - because they just aren't seeing it.  They aren't seeing that you can do anything more for yourself then what they are willing to do.  And, they don't believe that you can do anything more for yourself then you are already doing.  They want you to give up, to quit, and to call off the shots before you make them.  You'll miss all the shots that you aren't willing to take.  And, with that being said, I'm taking a lot of shots, because I simply don't care anymore what people think!  What people think is disgusting anyways sometimes I'm sure, so I wouldn't really want to know that sort of thing.  I just know that through what I see there are a lot of peoples hearts that are corrupt and cast in the worlds iron shell.  I've had enough of that iron that's trapped around the hearts of this world.  And, I was out for more then seeing people hurting in life, all trying to get by, and not being able to make their ends meet.  I was tired of seeing it and knew there has to be more.  If criminals can make more money by hurting people then by helping people - it's no wonder why there are so many secret crime families on planet earth because the incentive to do better or to be more has been sucked dry.  It's a thirsty heart, but that well is completely dry!

If it were up to me, I'd fill your cups up and overwhelm people with the feelings that I've been searching my world for.  The joy; the love, the compassion and the care - I'd throw out the old character and replace it with a new.  The old way is just not working out.  So, I don't know why we can't set down our phones and just go visit the people we love.  I don't know why we can't set money down and make peoples lives matter more then that silly money.  Becasue they made money look real nice and charitable and everything, but when it's doing more harm then good, and I truly believe we as people can do a lot better - I start to question everything because I don't believe that your world's "care" is doing anything good for us at all sometimes.  Sometimes, I feel that people could do more for themselves by stopping to just think about one person in their lives that's going through turmoil and to go help that person in whatever way that you can.  Just go sit with them!  You're already doing more for your world then continuing to ignore and to place your top concerns on the back-burner.  I'm tired of having my pain up on that chopping block and I wanted to see something more happen in our world.  Not just where I was concerned - but for a lot of other people as well.

Hell, I even think this whole world!  I want to affect the hearts that are the most damaging in a way where they'll never forget it because they can laugh about it all they want, but in the end - it's God's decision, and no matter who a person is - they can't disconnect themselves from creator.  No matter how hard they try, and no matter how hard they ignore or fight you - there is nowhere to run from the Almighty God.

This is why I know I'm successful.  It's not money!  It's not things, and certainly doesn't come from this world - success comes for those who are serving God.  Success comes when all this world is washed away and the reality of whatever is behind our world comes into fruition.  Whatever those things are - are what truly makes a person successful or not.  Are you going to heaven, or are you going to the lake of fire?  And, the choice is yours to start - but even in that choice, God is sending the Holy Ghost to come into your hearts as well when you make that kind of decision, it's not OUR will being done, but His.  And, I'm here to make damn sure that this world knows just how starved it is.  I'm here to make sure that this world knows just how decrepit and hoarse it is.  It's all chaotic in love - in hate, and doesn't know a thing about what is really going on.  As for my heart - I know that it's worth more then what this whole worlds got to hold in a store. 

I mean, it could be a super store with lots of fun toys and games and I still don't want anything to do with it.  It is to me - just that sour, and just that corrupt!  You want something for yourself here in this life - like a real home and a real family - some of us I'm afraid have to forget those dreams because this world is no place for your heart.  This world can't so much as entertain the idea that what they are doing is wrong, and what they will continue to do is wrong, and with enough people falling victims to the worlds tricks, and sucking up their pills and getting sicker and never better.  I know there was a time in our lives where people actually did get better, and not worse...  Even into old age.  I know there were people that felt better on their death-beds then in their whole entire lives, and it was simply because they were getting to go home.

If home is where the heart is, then my home was in the sky - because that's where I feel my heart is - with God.  Because I couldn't so much as share that heart with my world.  My heart wasn't allowed out of the worlds turmoil to help people or to just be able to sit with them.  We can be going the same way - but I felt as though we weren't supposed to be able to even talk to each other in a fashion for making dreams possible or doing anything above average.  And, this is what we wanted to fight for.  So that we could be somewhere of our world and be able to enjoy the life a little bit more.

My heart was up in that sky.  I could even feel it when God was shining down on me, and helping me immensely through the pain that I've felt.  But, I was assured in my heart that I wasn't supposed to go through all this pain.  That it wasn't necessarily His plans for me.  That he knew I'd be right where I am today, but that it wasn't as if He meant these things for me - but better.  And, I was mostly assured through belief that I was going to get better.  This world can take your whole life away, and blow you away - and you're still going to get better, because He made it clear to me that He wanted me to have something more.  And, so I believed and I did.  I might not have much, but I got God and God was caring for me in a way where I was in the palm of His hand.  I knew the kinds of people that didn't want to believe, but that didn't matter to me either.  I knew God wanted me, and it was His will working through me and not my own.  My will could have been been made into a disaster.  But, it wasn't my will anymore - it was His.  And, I just wanted to be in sync with what made all this possible.  I didn't care what people though about it anymore.  I wanted God to use me.  I wanted God to step in my shoes.  I wanted God so bad - it was God working through me and within me and sending the Holy Ghost to come sit with me.  I knew in my heart what was there, and I didn't need to have anyone else believe it in me, or see it in me that God was working through me.  I asked for it.  I believed.  And, as for the rest - I believe God was up to something great no matter what people are willing to do here on earth.  Because that's their own mistake and I wasn't a part of their worlds work in replacing the kind of character in their care with what it is.  I knew there was a lot of people that deserved better from this world then what they got and what they were getting so I was out to discover how I could make it better.

I hope that this writing will help someone realize their worth more, and that they aren't hopeless.  I hope that this writing reached people in a way that showed them they are worth more and that they are loved.  I love you, and I didn't even have to know you to do so.  I just knew that you were hurting, and that you needed to be shown that someone else out there had feelings the same way you did.  I wanted to reassure you that you are loved and show people that they can take their lives back, and they can dream more, and bring more light into this dark world.

I hope that it uplifts someone here.

I hope that I made you know you're loved.

I hope that you feel it in your heart.

I hope that you know now why I wrote this.