My Cancer Story Part IV: Chemotherapy and Haircuts
In the last part, I covered my approach to getting treatment and my initial surgery. More than anything else, finding the right attitude is key. This part will be all about chemotherapy.
A crash course on chemo
Going in to my treatment, I didn't really know much about chemotherapy. Turns out, chemotherapy can be pretty complicated. Chemotherapy is not a one size fits all treatment to cancer. There are hundreds of different drugs and combinations out there. The word itself simply means chemical therapy. A chemical that treats any disease, not just cancer, can be technically considered chemotherapy.
Since the first studies in the 1940's, chemotherapy drugs have exploded in number and uses. I'll briefly describe the three I received as those are the ones I am personally familiar with. For testicular cancer the main chemotherapy drugs are Etoposide, Bleomycin and Cisplatin. All three of these drugs are administered via IV. Approved for use in 1983, Etoposide is a workhorse chemo drug that is used to treat a wide range of cancers 1. Bleomycin is another multipurpose chemo drug. Discovered in 1962, Bleomycin pairs well with Etoposide in treating testicular cancer 2.
The real star of the show, however, is Cisplatin. Cisplatin is the drug that turned testicular cancer from a near death sentence to one of the most successfully treated cancers 3. During a 1965 experiment, Dr. Barnett Rosenberg used platinum electrodes to study the effects of an electric field on common lab bacteria. As it turns out, the platinum was great at killing the fast replicating bacteria. The results of this experiment eventually led to the development of Cisplatin 4. Crazy to think that injecting platinum into my bloodstream has kept me alive.
Side effects
Chemotherapy is a nasty process. Someday people will look back on chemo much in the same way we view bloodletting or lobotomies. While there are promising alternatives (to which I may devote a future post), chemotherapy is all I have right now. Here is a list of the main side effects: weakened immune system, anaemia (low red blood cells), tiredness/fatigue, hair loss, mouth sores, loss/change of taste, skin discoloration, kidney damage, tinnitus (hearing damage), neuropathy (numb or tingling extremities), fever and nausea5. Lastly, a delightful condition called chemo brain (memory loss/concentration issues) is a possibility as well6. Over the course of my treatment I experienced almost all of these to some degree. Fortunately, the majority of side effects are temporary and faded after the chemo ended.
Preparations
My main preparation for chemo was to cut my hair. Like many cancer patients, I chose to take control and cut my hair off myself rather than watch it slowly fall out. Deciding to buzz off my hair was not easy. I had been in the process of growing my hair out and I'm not afraid to admit a may be a little vain. In a way it was empowering to part with my hair on my own terms. The small victories matter in keeping a positive attitude.
Test of will
I went through three 21 day cycles of chemo. Nothing has ever tested my own resolve and will in the way that those nine weeks did. On the days I had chemo, my routine was the same. At 8:00 my alarm goes off and somehow I manage to get up. Then I get dressed. For me, getting dressed each day was important. Taking the time and effort to actually put on real clothes helped me to stay positive. Then I did my best to keep some food down before going to the hospital for the day. Chemo completely killed my appetite. Eating became a chore, especially as my taste deteriorated. By the end of my treatment, I couldn't even enjoy a milkshake!
When I got to the hospital, the nurses would hook up my IV and start the slow drip of chemo drugs. This would take about six hours to complete. I had to sit there and watch as the poison that was simultaneously saving my life and wrecking my body dripped into me. The toughest part for me was that chemo made it to hard for me to focus on reading or even watching TV. Everything was a bit hazy and my thoughts were sluggish. The days seemed to drag on and on. Once the IV's were complete, I would get sent home to attempt dinner and rest up before the process starts again the next day. Going through that process, I feel like a can handle anything life throws at me in the future.
People watching in the cancer ward
The one thing I could actually do while in the hospital was watch the other people. At least in my hospital, cancer patients are placed 10 to a room. Two nurses are assigned to each room. This meant that patients had almost no privacy. The noise canceling headphones my aunt thoughtfully gave me were critical to maintaining my sanity. For nine weeks, I would see the same set of people cycle through. I became friends with a few, and recognized many more.
Seeing other people go through their own fights was inspiring. One man who I saw each week had been getting treatment for two years! He came in each week with a smile, greeting everyone by name and cracking jokes with the nurses. Patients like him gave me hope and showed me the right way to fight cancer. They also gave me a healthy dose of perspective for my own situation. A lot of the people I saw each day were on experimental treatments or in special studies. For me, things weren't too bad. I had a cancer with a high success rate and defined treatment plan.
Lastly, I would like to thank any nurses reading this. You are true heroes. Every day, the nurses not only carefully administered my chemo but also showed me immense compassion. The great staff really helped me survive my chemo cycle. I don't know how they can do the job they do every day.
At the end of my cycle I was stuck once again playing the waiting game. I talked about this in more detail in part II. I had to wait several weeks before I got my next scan to see if the chemo worked. This was excruciating. I had two possible outcomes. The first: the cancer appears gone and I can go on surveillance. The second: the cancer is not gone and I need a serious surgery. Finally the day of my appointment to get the results came. The doctor walked in the room and said, "You'll be a great candidate for surgery." That was crushing to hear. In the next part I'll talk about my experience post chemo and the surgery. Hopefully that will catch this series up to the current.
About me. Let me know what you think in the comments or contact me directly: [email protected]
How are you doing now vir?