Good old Canadian Green

My lawn has suffered terribly from moss (a long and dull tale of my battle against the elemental force that is nature) and after yet another firm raking it was in a poor state; patchy, yellowing and sparse. Each night on my 'lawn' I would take pause to lean on my rake in the lunar like conditions that prevail in a Scottish/Glasgow spring, shaking my head wistfully at the withered prune of a garden that lay before me. I had tried em all, all those seductive seed boxes in the supermarkets with their gaudy yet alluring claims of "aqua technology" or "urine resistant" coatings on their seed. Indeed it was getting to the point my garden was more seed than grass and the local wood pigeons held regular coo/munch fests on my wan brown turf.

So it was with this that I saw and purchased some Canada Green grass seed and awaited delivery. It arrived very quickly and I proceeded to follow the instructions, apologizing profusely to my surviving grass that it had to undergo yet another raking. Then it was ready for me. Vigorously and energetically I sowed my seed on the bare soil. Again and again I cast my hand forth, seed beading the ground in great swathes. Then, spent, I somewhat furtively slunk back to my house for the long vigil.

With each passing day I took my watering can and enthusiastically watered the seed, sometimes so caught up in my task that I would caper and dance in offering to great Gaia. But the days marched on and nothing grew. I became despondent, casting dark glances out my window in passing and muttering foul epithets at the seed. On the 14th day I had had enough and strode out my back door to confront the villain. Grow dammit, GROW! but nothing. Patchy soil with wispy ill looking strands as before. I began to lose hope and started plotting my online reviews, the bile was ready to spew forth about how I had been duped and the Canadians had yet again bested me.

Then the rains came, oh how they poured! Days and days of Sleet, Snow, rain and hail beset me and I barricaded myself indoors only occasionally venturing out to inspect my garage for leaks (none). Being only April I knew the foul weather could only last a couple of weeks at most before at least a day or two's relief of stark sun accompanied by chill arctic winds. The rains ended that weekend and I ventured forth into my garden. Something puzzled me, my eye couldn't take it in. Was it the Sun? Being Glaswegian we often take frit at unabashed sunlight but no it wasn't that. It was my bare patches of lawn. They seemed, somehow, thicker? I dropped awestruck to my knees for a closer look. Like a sponge my jeans absorbed a couple of litres of water from the boggy soil. I cared not, it was growing, my seed was growing! All over the shop in fact! I buried my face in the wet and earthy loin of my lawn and sobbed with unabashed joy. Thank you Canada, thank you for this glorious seed.