My integration into Italian society. № 9 Minnowhelper Writing Contest

I remember my first months of life in Italy, after moving from Russia. Many women, with whom I used to communicate at the forum "foreign wives", wrote that the process of integration into a foreign community is very painful. Literally - the life begins with zero. On Steemit lists all countries in the world. People live in countries I've never even heard of before. Now very powerful integration from Africa to Europe. From China to Africa and Europe. I would really like to hear about your integration.

Well, if a woman moves to live abroad at retirement age, I think that it is easier, but if the age of 35-40+ years, it is much more difficult. Because, usually, such women are already quite a well-established personality, made a career in their country, provided with housing and work, having children, whom a woman raises alone, since most of them are divorced, and want to build new relationships with a foreign man. Most divorced women in the former USSR meet foreign men on Dating sites. Someone very quickly gets married, and someone meets for years, coming to visit each other, and together spending holidays and vacations. And now, with a successful combination of circumstances, when between two people there is a feeling, the future spouses plan to create a family and begin the process of collecting documents for marriage registration. All European countries have different documents for newlyweds. In this article I will not talk about the difficulties... I will only say that the process of collecting documents takes a lot of time and money, because many of them need to be apostilled, and it is not so cheap and time is not as fast as we would like. But for Russian women, this is not a real problem.... they arise later, when the process of integration into a foreign society begins. Most women, believe me, I have reason to talk about the majority, because I know a lot of cases when women "lost" in a foreign country, hiding behind foreign husbands, spending the first years, at best, for the study of foreign languages. Depending on the country of moving, they learned: English, German, French, Italian, Spanish, Swedish, Norwegian, and in the worst case - sat at home, doing cleaning and cooking.

In the latter, there is nothing wrong, of course, provided that a woman is free and can go out on their own in the "city", walking around the shops, going in that she is not afraid of the sellers and can communicate. And if a foreign language can not be mastered, what to do? Everyone has different language skills, for example, they are very average for me. The reason for that-there is no system in language learning and lack of work. I am sure that it is the work that gives the Russian people the opportunity to adapt and integrate into a foreign society more quickly. But the issue of work is quite serious, even if you, for example, have a great desire to work, you will not be hired, because there are established requirements for applicants, and first of all - knowledge of languages. In multilingual countries, where several official languages, for example, in Switzerland or Belgium, you need to know not only English, but also necessarily - French, Dutch and German. So, before you get a job in Belgium, you need to learn 3 languages, at least to the level of B1, and it is almost for all activities related to the service sector.

I have an example of a woman from Ukraine. Successful business lady, fashion designer wedding dresses, lived in Belgium 2 years. She did not have time to learn languages, because she finished her collection of wedding dresses, and this is a very expensive business and money, and time, as a result can not find a job, because it does not have 3 languages, and to get a specialty is not possible. At the same time, she lives in Brussels, the capital, where the opportunities are much higher than in the whole country. And now she's just morally depressed, does not know where and what door to knock, because after a stunning career in his homeland, she is "no one" in Belgium. Her life is very difficult, only one husband works, and the costs are very high: and to pay for the rented apartment, and communal services, and food, and everything else.

That's what to do in this situation? Someone may say: "Go to the cleaners, my toilets, because most often that is how women begin to work, who have financial problems in new families!"But this is such a blow to self-esteem, women fall into depression, up to serious moments, when nothing but pills can help. And it can be very beautiful and successful women in a past life, I personally know such.

The main thing that I managed to take out of foreign life - is the ability to tune in to the process of integration into society and not to tear his hair, knowing that this process is very slow. First of all, what I did. On arrival in Italy, I immediately went to a school for immigrants to learn Italian from scratch, although my husband told me - I'll teach you the language.

But my advice to everyone who reads my article-go to school or to courses, learn the language necessarily, do not sit at home, go to society, meet people. I was able to meet Russian girls at school, with whom we are still friends, and this is very important for those who live far from their homeland. Secondly, I went to the library, where I read and talked with Italians, often with pensioners, but still some communication, because my husband worked all day. I went shopping, I specifically tried to talk to salesmen to overcome my shyness.

After all, many of us who move abroad, people are educated, we want to immediately become so in a foreign country. And some because of this are afraid and mouth open without having perfect language. And I didn't care, and the Italians are very loyal, they will always make a compliment if you try to speak their language.

tomatoes from my garden

I got a garden because all my neighbors are Italians, and we have to communicate, share their successes and share advice. I communicate with my husband's relatives to improve my language and maintain kinship. Here it would be necessary to read more and listen to audio, but, frankly, there is no time at all, busy with their own Affairs. Although the language must learn and improve for a long time, because I intend to stay here for the rest of my life. Here are planning next year to enroll in various sections to expand the circle of acquaintances: dancing and photography that is closer to me, and what I'd like to do.

To say that I am fully integrated into Italian society, I think it is premature. I can say for sure that I like the country very much, I have a quiet family life, a lot of travel, a lot of my own interests and plans for future life.

I would like to discuss integration with girls and men from different countries of the world, how did you integrate when you had to leave your home country and move to another foreign country? How did you start your integration in the new country? Maybe you can share your examples, and I can learn something useful from you. I will be very happy and grateful. And I think that our conversation and advice will be useful to those who may be planning an independent emigration or marriage with a foreign man.