[gamedev] lost in da hood (gameguru) part 34

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20180821 1252pm going over replies and stuff, musing and stuff, no im not gonna "try" , if i sit down and "try" its not gonna work out, why cant you just accept that, precious

20180822
1325pm
baked myself a wrap wow, and it worked out for the first time, i got the recipe down now, also the oven settings ... cucumber salad with fresh homegrown from a friend of the mothers and that'l be it. It's gonna be scraping coppers for months from here unless steem mysteriously rises or the state finds a way to let people try (which would take like 15 years for any change to actually be applied) because

I CANT DO THAT ANYMORE AND THATS NOT GONNA HAPPEN, you shoulda let me do, precious ..

i was doing JUST FINE, i would have been out of here for years now ... and i'm still not good at sukcing teh whael dikc, thats not gonna happen either, this is where i'm at

RIGHT NOW, and its now or its gonna be never :) and never means to die unhappy and alone in a town i hate in a country i loathe so ... that wont motivate me to wear a tie and sukc teh whael dick

I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO DO THAT FOR FOREVER

hmmh ... 14:57 ... gotta get ready to get ready so i can have a few hours to get ready and hope to have a few hours of sleep so i can think in between moments tonight, spent zero time on blender ... dang ... more delay

20180822 01:15 am ... shifting the timeroster probably a good idea ... no police vans, no peeking toms, only slamming sounds of doors and windows, maybe i'm a vampire instead of a scout for an eastern european crimegang, who knows with these people, the things i heard about me ? it would be funny if it wasnt total slander fucking shit up. Why dont i trust anyone ? i dont know, i probably have issues. Besides, it would be REALLY awkward if a guy you know for 30 years has to "intervene" because the boss says so to appease the natives, for both involved that is :) ... i prefer peace & quiet but i doubt it will stay like this, already the pencilpusher upperclass is ordering the grunts to mess around in my life again, i think they're gonna leave me no choice but to take ultimate risk and withdraw myself before i have a foundation to stand on

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wow , OOC ... right, well, apparently some people actually LIKE that ... although its not my intention it just spills over, which is good or it would be a pressure cooker ready to explode

WHAT? almost 2pm already ? between preventing the house from turning to total chaos, preparing food, dishes, garbage disposal and a few comments it leaves me with little time to do what i need to to do what i wanna so , its a short vid anyway

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I got busy on gameguru last year but i crashed out around december, mentally, and i really havent done much since, steemit seems to have revived some interest in a little scripting but at a snailpace and i only function well at night ...
I remember trying some of this when i just got on and i got WRECKED by nazicleaners and their team of enlightened content fascists with no own talent because it was "not steemit" content , so let's try again, its time-saving week i want my distroscipts to be ready so i can get back to the fun-stuff

like this a.o.

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my very tv-acceptable news-anchor voice to test a sound trigger zone

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modelled, well actually more like LEGO-d the house and neighbouring house (same layout here, social housing after all) bottom floor, some garden bits and part of the first floor , textured ofcourse, that EBE IS REALLY easy to use

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just a playtest really, as said above, stuff to do ... but the amount of time in creating this mighty fine wolfensteinlooking with better shaders bit is probably under-appreciated :D

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im not always positive, i dont live on that planet, i dont know where you're from but that doesnt work here, blabla, and stateside bla, maybe you still dont believe it and you still think its just a matter of wearing me out or using force or trying to outsmart like my life is A FUCKING GAME TO YOU , but ive been you telling you this for a LONG TIME , sirs and madams, I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE, i gave you ample opportunity to let me at least pretend, went back to school twice, blabla, worked HARD for way less and all that shit normal people seem to like , all of it got fucked by third party interference, i am NOT doing that again, ive been telling you that for quite some time, i crashed out on it last december, you had another chance to make it paper-acceptable there but no ... no i didnt crash out and started sleeping 18 hours a day as an act, just like this is not an act and i am not an act

then i got double-crud, shrinks with opinions on how its done "masjen by lorraine met de nacht en alles solved (for the record i applied ... they gave me the expected answer, not that i had any intention i was just 99% sure of it) ... so ... that's how its gonna be, for better or for worse, dont you think you did enough damage, you already wrecked 1/3d of my life and counting, pushing me deeper and further away, im NEVER coming back to your world, but you dont realize

i was never part of it in the first place

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more ? are you undead ? a ghost trapped in a loop or just a normal everyday zombie ?
don't insult me like that
anders breyvik was a goof on steroids playing world of warcraft to train for a massacre, this is just some amateur hobbyism, you should get out from behind that desk sometimes,
sir

too bad, but i accidentally found that psych-profile linked somewhere for all to see ... I JUST COULDNT RESIST, i know all about that fucker .. .Yaa ya ya ya, sorry gets me nothing, precious, nothing but annoyed, so unless you got those 15 years you cost me, dump it, leave it, forget about it, sorry gets me nothing

with a smile ofcourse, pretending costs not much either, you should know that, you do it all the time

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well ... selfbaked wrap + gift homegrown cucumber, a bit of herbs from the garden and thre slices of prefab coldcut ... looks like a fair dish to me, i'll better get used to it for the rest of the year ![DSC01838.JPG]()

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my native language is fluent sarcasm, not english, dont let this be misunderstood : my message to the world

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(no, poincgames is clearly not microsoft free but i think thats the only thing windows is useful for : directx, otherwise its a total waste to install on a production-pc)
i had to remove all audio because youble claimed copyright crud b/c of some music playing in the background so my nice voice explaination is gone, i hope to get back to stuff like this, especially the rpg on maker after i get the rest here up and running, but first things first and then the rest

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me

_{this post is published under the steemcleanersandcontentnazisarenotallowedtotouchituntalentednotsteemitcreativecommons license}

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