The art of mortgage your happiness to the results

Have you ever wondered if your worth as a person is determined by the things you have built, done, produced or finished or if your value resides simply in living intensely every moment with passion, love, curiosity and desire to grow?

Have you ever wondered whether to set a goal and pursue certain goals really makes you happy or, on the contrary, become a source of tension and anxiety?

Have you ever wondered if you are not mortgaged your happiness, subordinándola to the results that you will achieve, hypothetically, in the future?

Life is much more than a series of frantic cycles in search of results for centuries Oriental philosophy, especially Buddhism and Taoism, tells us that the secret of happiness is to seize the "here and now". It is certainly a fascinating idea that has also come to psychology, but the truth is that very few manage to put it into practice. In this way, it ends up becoming an empty phrase that we repeat once in a while.

However, today's society, which is very detached from such thoughts, conveys a very precise and erroneous message that forces us to live under pressure and prevents us from developing to the maximum our potential.

Since childhood our parents convey the idea that we should stop playing and dream as soon as possible, we must learn to use the instruments of our culture, those that allow us to build things, learn a profession and produce results. The message is very clear: life consists mainly in cycles that are divided into: projecting, executing and concluding.

If we think about it a little, we will realize that everything we do is governed by these three phases. Since we were young they motivate us, first in the family environment and then in the school, to project, to execute and to finish one project after another. First are the studies, then the race, then the work... and we must show the results as proof of our worth. The results have priority over the process, on the activities themselves.

In school we are motivated to study, but everything is configured in such a way that the most important thing is the qualification. In sport we are also judged by our results, not by the passion or effort we put into training. At work the same happens, as in social life, our value is directly proportional to the things we have built, realized, finished or accumulated.

In fact, different expressions that we use daily confirm: "He is a great entrepreneur, he has built an important company" or "is an excellent writer, has sold many books". On the other hand, to indicate that a person has failed we use phrases like "he has done nothing in his life".

In short, it all seems to indicate that people are more valuable, important, capable, intelligent or even happy as far as they have been able to finish something. In this way, success and happiness are intertwined with the results, and passion, effort and love are left out of the equation. We become victims of "conclusion", if I may be allowed to neologism.

The conclusion: The Death trap in which we all fall over time, the pressure to finish things and achieve results becomes a part of our personality, a rod that we use to measure. It cannot be otherwise if when we look around we only find people who measure their value in terms of what they have achieved or, worse still, accumulated.

However, we do not realize that the pressure to finish and to have results generates a continuous stress that will end up Agotándonos, physically and mentally. So many people, when they reach that point where they can no longer, wonder what their life is like if they have not achieved those things that are important to society. They'll feel like losers, even if they're not. And in such cases, it is not unusual for depression or anxiety to appear.

But it is really just a matter of perspective, and changing the questions we ask ourselves.

Why? The magic question to get out of the spider web that we ourselves have built around us, we must ask a question that children are continually doing: why? That simple question opens many doors because other questions arise, such as "What do I really want" or "What do I need to be happy".

These questions will become tools to help us create a map, to determine an indicative route that will guide us along the way. Of course, we can deviate a little, but always motivated by passion, desire and curiosity, not by the obligation or the opinions of others.

For example, if you choose a job based on how close you are to the house, the salary you'll be charged or how comfortable you'll be, your life will not change. You will stay in your comfort zone, where you will die a little every day by hand of boredom, routine and lack of stimuli.

However, if you choose the job by thinking about what you like and satisfies, this will not be an obligation but you end up enriching your life because it is likely to force you continually to extend your comfort zone. This is a major change of perspective because you have to start thinking about what you like and what you want, and then choose what allows you to walk in that direction.

Returning to Buddhist philosophy, if in your life only the results are counted, and you think you will only feel happy when you finish something, your mind will always be in the future. That pressure will prevent you from being happy and enjoying the here and now. If you live like this, you'll probably end up wondering what the point has been. Perhaps only then will you realize that the results are simply empty numbers and that the conclusionism does not lead to any part.