[QUESTION] Has a former enemy ever become a friend?

merej99 (70)in #bullying • 8 years ago

Has a former enemy ever become a friend?

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From elementary school, through my junior high years, and into 10th grade, my siblings and I had to ride the bus to school every morning.
I dreaded every morning. While my sister and brother were pretty much left alone, I was a total outcast.
Being so close to a school bus stop, we had to walk about 50 yards and wait with 10 other kids all ranging in age from 11 to 19.

Maybe it was a territorial kind of thing? But the kids who lived on the hill had pretty much known each other since birth. I was an Army brat outsider. On top of that, I was terribly awkward and shy. You can read a bit about that in my post Sticks and Stones Have Their Place.

Needless to say, the kids were rarely nice. Honestly, I loved rainy days because it kept them all quiet and huddled together - even if no one wanted to share their umbrella with me.

I wish I had a sharp tongue and quick wit when I was younger!

There were particularly bad days when I would get so frustrated that I would cry. I still cry when I'm frustrated.
But crying is a sign of weakness for most people. Crying, to me is an outlet so I don't let the rage come out.
There were so many nights when I would toss and turn, thinking about the things that were said to me - and only at night would the perfect response come to mind. And I wanted to turn back time so badly and whip them with a tongue-lashing, but I knew I couldn't because it was over, except in my head. sigh

Hang on. I'm getting to my point.

In a roundabout way I'm trying to explain why I felt like everyone was my enemy. I had no friends at my bus stop and it was a 45 minute commute on an over-populated bus to school.
Because we lived in such a rural area, a crowded bus was what we had to deal with, which meant the younger kids got to sit while the high school kids had to stand in the aisle and hold on for dear life.

Chris was a few years older than me. He was never an instigator at the bus stop, but he'd join in if the going got good. He certainly never stopped anyone in my defense, and for that, he was also one of my childhood enemies.
This one particular day, Chris happened to be standing next to me in the aisle. The bus driver was a whack-job and probably took great pleasure in watching kids go flying as she drove hellbent over every pot hole.
Anyway, he must have been carrying every text book ever issued to him - and he was doing his best to stay on his feet while holding on to his books.

One kind gesture led to another

I sat there and watched him struggle and curse under his breath.
"Would you like me to hold onto your books?" I couldn't believe the words came out of my mouth. I hated him. I hated them all.

He kind of looked at me and blinked...right before he nearly fell in my lap from a wild turn of the bus.

"Can I hold your books for you?"

"Really? You don't mind?"

I grabbed the pile of books from him and laid them on my lap. He had two hands free to steady himself.
I felt like a damned idiot. I could feel his stare through the top of my head.
For a brief moment I thought about spilling his books all over the place. Wouldn't it be nice if I could be an asshole for a day?

But I didn't do it.

When the bus arrived at the high school, he grabbed his books and said, "Thanks, Meredith. That was really special."

I was shocked! One: he said thank you. Two: he knew my name. No one but my friends called me by my name. I was always four-eyes or chink or stupid or weird...but never Meredith.

The next day, the whole routine began again, only this time, when the kids started to tease, Chris piped up.
"Come on, guys. Leave her alone. She's cool."

With one phrase, he stopped being my enemy and I felt the hatred kind of melt away. While we never became friends or hung out, I realized that one decent action could lead to another...and I was so glad for my morning respite by authority of an accidental knight.