Traveling changes you. To find home, you can't go back anymore, and going forward only means finding more places you will never truly fit into either. The only place you even have a chance of fitting in is with other misfits.

You should really come hangout with me and other peeps on discord some more. We are all misfits in a way. I recognize so much of myself in your stories, even though I don't feel like I'm being punished for being in Portugal and for living in Spain/ The Canary Islands in the recent past.

I know it's easier said than done, but I changed my outlook on life, I still got my struggles but I'm doing way better now.

I would recommend you to give a listen to 'Blinkers Removed' by Man of No Ego:

I can listen to that music and its lyrics over and over again and wrote a post about it a couple of weeks back Music that is changing my life
I will send you a link to the album on Discord. This is healing music - and words - to me, recommended by the great @paradigmprospect
A German guy, who actually lived in The States and is a great storyteller himself :>)

Long story short, I always enjoy your (life) stories. You are a great writer and storty teller who always manages to tell multiple stories in one. How do you that?

Books can be found and read just at the right time, it's kind of magical, indeed but I also start to believe more and more that you attract what you are wishing for. Stay positive and keep smiling and above all, stay creative ;>)