Tumbling Down Bridges

Well, since lately I've told you about some books I thoroughly enjoyed (in fact, I believe I used quite big words of praise on them), I find it's only fitting that I now tell you about an utterly disappointing book as well. Be warned, I have literally just finished reading it and so, don't wonder why I sound pissed off.
Mostly at myself for not being able to put it down. I have this thing about abandoning books. Actually, I don't, I do that rather easily, if I find I'm getting bored and my mind's wandering, I just drop it. Who knows, it might even be a great book, but if it hasn't sucked me in, well sorry, off it goes. But this one, I couldn't drop and I think that's what pisses me off the most. I'm not one to generally give bad reviews. In fact, I don't do book reviews of any kind, but this was just something else.
I'm talking about a book called Bridge of Clay, the much-awaited return of Markus Zusak, the man who wrote The Book Thief. Now let me just say, that was one of my favorite novels, at least at the time. Truly phenomenal work there, which is why I so looked forward to his new book. I even enjoyed his previous book, I Am the Messenger. I expected big things. But no. I waited for a long time, since, you know, good writers are hard to come by these days. And I waited in vain.
The book's a fucking mess. It's well written. No, actually it has some lucky phrases, good wording, but other than that, it's quite sloppy writing, riddled with repetitions and childish mistakes. I'm not usually a picky reader, and if the story's good, I don't even notice these things. But here, it was just one more bad thing to add on to the pile. And boy, was there a pile...
It's way too complicated, in the sense that it's hard to see what the time in the story is, what's happening, it has way too many characters and frankly, several just aren't adding much to the story. Not that there is much of a story, to be honest, or rather it's so convoluted and full of cliché that you wish there wasn't one.

The characters are simplistic and predictable. And whereas the story isn't (predictable), it's not unpredictable in a good way, you know what I mean? It doesn't leave you with that pleasant feeling of 'oh, I did not see that coming'. It's just messy and constantly has you going 'huh?', because it so rarely makes any sense. And it relies so heavily on over-used imagery. Like the cancer-ridden mum. Come on, tragic, I fully agree, but seriously, cancer's just everywhere in YA books lately. The fault in our stars, anyone? A Monster Calls? (that, on the other hand, was a great book, in my opinion, played rather well on the whole dying thing)
But still, it's overused. I kept thinking, as I read, that apparently that's all teenagers are doing these days, either confronting cancer one way or another or going on life-defining quests. Oh and have I mentioned that every girl in YA books is basically the same? Kind of a tom-boy, fearless, gorgeous (duh), smart...or to quote Zusak, “something else”. Okay, but not all girls are like that. And not all teenagers are dealing with cancer. Isn't there any other subject that might interest a teen? I find that rather upsetting, to be honest.
I get it, it's death, it's something that at such an age is new and terrifying and mesmerizing etc. It's something we can romanticize. But not the only subject out there. It's like these YA writers are stuck in a loop or something, which is why I don't usually read typical YA books. But as I said, I hoped this would be different.

I’m a completely different person than the person who wrote The Book Thief. And this is also the scary thing—I’m a different person to the one who started Bridge of Clay eight, nine years ago ... I’ve got to get it done this year, or else I’ll probably finally have to set it aside.

A, clearly, you are. And while that's not automatically a bad thing, it is in this case. I don't believe an author should only ever write one book, I'm no Annie Wilkes. I didn't expect The Book Thief all over again, because that would be repetitive and dull.
But I really wander where these people go and trade in that spark...you know, the one that shines through the words and keeps you glued to the page? They draw you in and they make you love them and then they go off and lose it somewhere...I wander how that happens. Every good writer seems to go off for a bit and leaves you waiting for their next book and then bam, utter crap. And it's weird, because it's even more disappointing when it's a great writer, you know? I mean, from an okay writer, you don't expect all that much and if you hit upon a disappointing book, you're not all that surprised. But when it's a person whom you know can do great things, it's all the more upsetting.
And B, I find it annoying that this guy took 13 years to write this dumb book. I just do, I mean I get being caught in a story, but seriously, if this was your life's masterpiece, well, you fucked up.

Anyway, don't read this book. It's sloppy and clicheic and self-indulgent. And on the off-chance you have read it and liked it, good on you. Please don't tell me I missed something or that there were great bits or whatever. I don't care, I just want to be done with this book and forget I ever read it.